Codependence Core of Toxic Relationships

Codependence is at the core of toxic relating and toxic relationships. It is often mistaken for healthy love - it doesn't allow for healthy love. Life Coach and author, A.J. Mahari, talks about what she refers to as the codependent mindset. Enmeshment is a polarized dynamic that lacks the necessary balance and healthy paradox required for healthy love. People lose themselves in these toxic relationships.

Category:

Education

Tags:

• codependence
• toxic relationships
• enmeshment
• self help
• life coaching
• aj mahari

[MrJmg071769]

Get the edit better, and this will be a great video series.

[ajmahari]

@MrJmg071769 Not my best effort at editing but hopefully the information can still be helpful. Can't remember why I had the problems with the editing in this video (more than most) but suffice to say without the edits where they are though they aren't as integrated or smooth as I'd hoped they'd be, this video would be less focused.

[joshuadiesel]

and i still feel some love for her not a romantic but more like a little sister

[ajmahari]

It's is quite understandable that you still feel love for her but that you aren't in love with her anymore. Of course it is difficult to care about someone who is struggling. However, her struggle is, her struggle. You can't save her or rescue or fix her. It seems that you are in that emotionally challenging new territory of boundary setting, self care, and moving away from enmeshed codependent relating. It's a process. It takes time. Be kind to yourself and patient with yourself.

[joshuadiesel]

thanks just one more question a long one wouldn't it be selfish of me to let her go? because she won't have anyone taking care of her i mean her parents are divorced her mother has got her own unsolved issues she is a misrable person who always crys and spreads poison and paranoid and her father dosen't care much about his daughter because he has a life of his own now so she is alone i know i should not go back to her but im afraid to hear that she will succeed killing her self

[ajmahari]

No, it woudn't be selfish of you. It sounds like she needs some professional help to learn to cope and manage many aspects of her life in healthier ways. It is not easy to hold your own ground when someone is suicidal. I hope you will do what you feel is best for you. I hope she will seek out professional help. If you need to talk more about this email me and I can give you directions about how to purchase life coaching with me. Take care

[emdob]

I have had some of the most intense relationships in my life and a few years ago my therapist "labeled" me as co- dependent... It all made sense but the last relationship I seemed perfect... no drugs, no baggage, no drama- I look back and realised I was saved, however saved from myself. After 6months I became very attached and possessive to the point I would drive for 2hrs just to spend the night with him. I was battling with my heart and mind and testing him to see if he loved me FOREVER.

[saintben2008]

I am so codependent.

[joshuadiesel]

wow thanks you don't understand how helpful this video is it saves lives!!!

[ajmahari]

I am sorry to hear of your situtation. It is important that you focus on what is best for you and remember that whatever she does, she is responsible for her choices - not you. Glad you found the video helpful. Take care.