Do the Math

Beulah Dean Beauregard returns to quantify the total number of people who can expect to go straight to hell.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• atheist
• atheism
• theists
• theism
• Christians
• Baptists
• Protestants
• Bible
• Biblical
• hell

[xynth101088]

Well hot dog, I'm safe then. Apparently I was baptized as a baby and because of that I am forever saved no matter what I say or do according to the views of the baptist church in my area. So looks like I get to not burn forever in hell, and be away from all the annoying people, since it will be roomy in heaven, and get to do what ever I want. While everyone else burns even though most will be good and live good lives. Such a wonderful system that god fellow has setup.

[WildwoodClaire1]

@xynth101088 You are a Calvinist?

[xynth101088]

@WildwoodClaire1 Not that I know of. Never heard of a Calvinist actually. I was just being a bit sarcastic at the fact that I'd be able to go to Heaven since I fall into that .5% that is baptist that you mention in the video and how wonderful that would be. So not only would I avoid hell-fire and brimstone but I would also get a HUGE area where I'd have plenty of space to my self all at the same time. No matter what I do in my life all thanks to my Baptisim that I don't even remember.

[WildwoodClaire1]

@xynth101088 Ah! I sometimes tell xtian fundies I am a Calvinist just to fuck with them (look up Calvinism and predestination.)

[XDukemoothieX]

Hi Claire,

A slightly left field question but have you ever heard "Old Harry's Game" from BBC radio?

[WildwoodClaire1]

@XDukemoothieX no

[WildwoodClaire1]

@prodigyat9 Heaven is a place where nothing, nothing ever happens.

[bogartnumbertwo]

Perhaps that's the punchline of this cosmic joke: "heaven is only perfect because there are no people there to fuck it up".

[kuo290]

lol...she sounds like TREE TRUNKS from adventure time

[itsjustameme]

But this is only the half truth. You have only looked at the picture as it is today.

People who went to hell in the old days:

100% af the people before Jesus.

100% of the people before the Baptists came around.

And the movement presumably had to grow a bit before it reached the impressive 0,5% of the world's population.

So total population in heaven is probably a lot less than 0,1% of the worlds total population.

For an omnipotent and omnibenevolent god he sure did mess this one up...

[xynth101088]

@cruelbusiness1984 Well there is something I can add to my to do list when I'm there, lol.

[cruelbusiness1984]

@xynth101088 I couldn't enjoy heaven if good people where in hell. I'd spend everyday yellin @god what a monster he was 4 torturing people. it wouldn't b heavan 4 god when I got there :D

[xynth101088]

@WildwoodClaire1 Heh, yeah after looking up what a Calvinist was I can see how that would mess with people. I'll have to remember to use that next time I'm asked what I believe just so to see what happens.