An Important Rap by Crack Stuntman

An excellent rap by Crack Stuntman.


Transcript

{Scene opens to a VCR-like opening screen with static at the top and "PLAY" and a timer going up from "0:20:14." The tracking lines gradually disappear.}

GUNHAVER: {standing next to Fightgar and Firebert} —pants back on, Blue Laser!

{Cut to Blue Laser Commander holding his pair of pants up while not wearing any.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: How could you possibly refer to these as pants?

{Cut back to the Commandos}

GUNHAVER: Ahahaha! {turns to other Commandos; suppresses laughter} Cheat Commandos... riggidy-roll!

{The other Commandos look confused and surprised. Cut to Silent Rip.}

SILENT RIP: Uh... that's not what we usually say—

{Cut back to Gunhaver}

GUNHAVER: Yeah whatever, {background music stops} it's riggidy-roll from now on.

{Cut to usual end screen, "Buy All Our Playsets and Toys!!" appears on the screen and is sung to music. The text "created by A. Chimendez" appears at the bottom. "Riggidy Roll" is carved into the plinth that Gunhaver stands on instead of "Rock Rock On" as usual, and the characters at the bottom seem confused.}

SINGERS: Buy all our playsets and toys!

{Cut to pink screen with a guy with a green shirt with "CRACK" on his shirt pocket}

CRACK STUNTMAN: Hi kids. {lunges at screen} BLAAAAH'm Crack Stuntman. {places hand on chest.} I'm the voice of the {removes hand from chest} gun-shaver on Cheat Commandos! Here with an important rap song about safety {holds up 1 finger} and spring break. {holds up another finger} {points offscreen} Bust it! {music starts playing, Crack's head bobs to the beat}

CRACK STUNTMAN:
Well you're a rich kid, living in the suburbs,
and there's not a whole lot to do.
You stroll into the kitchen and what do you find?
A bunch of knives cold staring at you!

So,
Kidz, don't play wit' 2 many knives.
C'mon, c'mon.
Crack Stuntman gonna save some lives.

Awwwwwww...

It's spring break,
Girlies running wild,
Jet to the beach
wearin' the freshest styles.
Meet a bunch of kids from Alabama!
Beach volleyball slammajamma!
Putt-putt, go carts, bungee-jumpin'!
Crack Stuntman keeps the bass pumpin'!

Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh,
Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh.
Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh,
Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh.
Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh,
Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh.
Poo-poo-ha-ha-ha-ha-huh-ha-huh.

Holla for a dolla!
Shout for some clout!
Somebody say holla for a dolla!
Let's turn this party out!

Bonfire on the beach and people start to dance,
Find a fly girlie for some beach romance.
But then a fresh honey comes walkin' by.
How can a man choose between fresh and fly?
(spoken) And believe me, there is a difference!

Throw your hands in the air for some high-fives,
and kidz, don't play wit' 2 many knives.

And I am out!

{Cut to a gray background where the words "Download All Our Number One Jams!!" appear in white on a gray background. The Cheat Commandos theme music plays.}

SINGERS: Download all our number one jams!

• Category

  Film & Animation

[yahoozle123]

(((LOUD)))

((( BASS)))

[ningaXyugiohlover]

I love this song!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[yoshimickster]

I remember They Might Be Giants put their top ten songs on XPN...this was one of them. I know remember that I must listen to They Might Be Giants every day now.

[TheInfiniteKamina]

More like #1 BEST JAM EVER.

[Etank800]

Poo Ha Ha Ha Ha

Poo Ha Ha Ha Ha

[Brannon McBride]

homestarrunner com. That website is a goldmine. An abandoned goldmine.

[jessemallesi]

kids dont play with 2 many KNIFES



[MetalHeads10]

What's this from?

[Diego StonerRocker]

stupid dummy funny song

[nivek llah]

no offense but stupidest rap ever you should work on it

[Joseph Womer]

It's an important rap song about safety and Spring Break. But mostly, it's about Spring Break.

[Eric Sanchez]

lol 1:47 now there 2 hats