Dealing With Difficult People

Ajahn Brahm gives a talk about dealing with difficult people...

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• Brahmavamso
• 2010
• 07
• 09

[EatMoreEnchiladas]

'no such being... [person] who's totally bad/ evil/ hopeless'... ok, I excerpted, but how does it work for non humans? you want to see the good in all people. but, say, with beetles or sharks, the same kind of good-bad duality in the personality is missing. so, maybe we can't make this blanket statement about 'all beings'. haha. kbai.

[cmiller1257]

@Mancunian786

Last time I checked...Buddhists don't put people to death for converting to another religion. If YOUR religion requires this, then it's my belief that it must not have very compelling reasons to give it the full measure of your devotion.

Buddhism is NOTHING if not a logical expression of man's greatest and best nature.

[Yaiyasmin]

"Religious people should be the most difficult to offend"... I love that quote.

[zbigniewzapora]

Democratic model is just as failed model as monarchy (in politics). Any authority model that relies on force is flawed model. Putting that aside, democratic model may work in closed voluntary environment (like monasteries). by closed I mean when people have the same field of expertise. Democratic model won't work for example when each of passengers have the same voting power as each of crew on ship when deciding how to sail it or when 2 wolves and one sheep decide what to eat on dinner.

[justkarmatoo]

Thanks Brahm.  Kinda weird how the "Four Noble Truths" cover it all.

[Ondesdevie]

You can go to Dhammaloka

dot point com

Dammaloka 2 u

[CYRAPHYM]

nice talk, I am not trying to be difficult but, gee, how do you get the 1 hour upload?

[kensei85]

@TheTyaptyap I agree with everything that you just said. As Ajahn Brahm said, it was a very special case: turning a "bad" person "good" is one of the hardest challenges we could ever undertake as it almost always works out badly (so definitely isn't recommended advice), but it makes a fitting example of Buddha-nature- turning negativity into positivity.

"'He insulted me, he cheated me, he beat me, he robbed me' -- those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace." -Buddha

[TheTyaptyap]

@kensei85 Yes, I agree, he was definitely very lucky. I just dont think that encouraging people to stay in abusive relationships is a good idea considering all the domestic violence there is in our society. Didnt the Buddha also say that you should avoid loud and aggressive people? Also,putting up with peoples bad behaviour gives them no reason to change it .

[kensei85]

@TheTyaptyap if he changed and now they are both as happy and loving as can be then her compassion was obviously not wasted. Buddha taught that even murderers can attain enlightenment if they abandon their old ways, and that hate can only be cured by love. So HE was lucky she bothered to put the effort in to help him and didn't run off - otherwise he would have never changed, probably lived a life of sadness, died alone and faced a lower rebirth. Either way she done something amazing.