An Honest Mom on Zen and the Domestic Arts

I spend most of my days doing housework. For the last 2 years, I've wrestled with what that means about my identity and value in the world. After my recent reality tv bender, I found that doing the dishes isn't the worst thing on earth after all.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• Zen
• vlog
• mindfulness
• honest mom
• motherhood
• mother
• parent
• kids
• stay at home
• new mom
• housewife
• house work
• housework
• video blog
• video blogging
• reality tv
• domestic arts

[anzhelo4ka]

Yep, definitely. I am what you might call a "house proud" person, and I find cleaning very therapeutic. In fact, you kind of surprised me by referring to it as "menial" -- I just never connected that word to cleaning my own home!

[ssmackley]

@anzhelo4ka What you said here takes me out of my own perspective and reminds me that not everyone has that "menial" association with house work. I love that you've never had that association...I'm curious, what do you associate with as "menial" work?

[anzhelo4ka]

@ssmackley Was thinking on our conversation here, and i wondered, did you consider housework to be menial before you had your son? If not, perhaps it is the "stay-at-home-mom" scenario that you associate with "menial."

By the way, I just love your videos on here. There's something about you and the way you express yourself that resonates with me. I think you and I must be very similar people. Take care!

[ssmackley]

@anzhelo4ka good question! i did, actually. i always assumed that most people felt that way--that it was just an association with "womens work" being "less than"... though i think it has intensified with the "stay-at-home-momness." it really has been an ongoing struggle for me to fully step into that role because of all the things i tell myself it means about who i am...

did you always have the positive association with it?

[anzhelo4ka]

@ssmackley Yes, I think I have. I take a lot of pride in making things sparkle, not just clean, SQUEAKY clean. And I am so much calmer when things are in their place. Gender associations have never crossed my mind there. But perhaps that's because when things need to be done I make a list of everything and tell my husband to pick approx. half of the things on there to do. (Oh, he grumbles, but he still does it!)

[anzhelo4ka]

@ssmackley I suppose anything where you're basically someone else's lackey or easily replaced. So cleaning someone else's house or being the intern at an office where you just copy papers and get people's coffee. Cleaning your own house, or cooking, or taking care of your children, or filing your own paperwork...all of that is just stuff that has to be done, and not all of it is rewarding every time, but you're your own boss, and you can't be replaced easily. There's a lot of pride there for me.