What can I say to my Christian friend who just got engaged to a non-Christian?

The following is an edited transcript of the audio.

What can I say to my Christian friend who just got engaged to a non-Christian?

You make sure that she knows the text, the key text. There's more than one, but the key text is in 1 Corinthians 7:39 where it says that a woman is "free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord."

That little phrase "only in the Lord" is added to an otherwise innocent marriage to say, "Don't go outside of the Lord to marry." So make sure that she knows that that is there, so that she is dealing with truth.

Then you have to deal with how she responds to it. If she says, "I don't care" then you have one thing to deal with. If she says, "I don't think it means that," then you have another thing to deal with. And if she says, "I think I should do this one sin and God will forgive me," then you have another thing to deal with.

So how you counsel would depend on her response to the biblical truth.

In general I would take her (or him, because this can apply to guys too) to the text to show her what it says, and then I would encourage her that the right understanding of it is that Christians should only marry Christians.

Then I would say a few other things:

1) God only tells us to do things that are good for us. I know it feels to you like, if you say "No" to this guy, that you'll never get anybody. And that feels like a condemnation, a damnation, a ruination of your life. But it isn't. It isn't. He may change. And if not, God will sustain you, and it will be better.

2) How can you be intimately, psychologically, spiritually, physically involved with a man who does not say "Jesus is Lord," a man who doesn't love your Savior?

What is at root here is that she is loving this man more than she is loving Jesus. Because if she really loved Jesus—and he was satisfying to her, and her best friend, and walked with her, and talked with her, and sustained her—then the fact that he doesn't love Christ but says, "I don't want anything to do with him. He's not my Lord. He's not my Savior. I think that's mythological and foolish," that should tear her apart emotionally.

What is she saying by delighting in him when the essence of him is anti-Jesus? That's who he is, he's anti-Jesus! Women or men who go that direction show that their capacities for loving Christ have shrunk down, and they're not feeling or thinking straight about loving Christ.

What does it mean to know him, love him, walk with him, cherish him, be satisfied in him, treasure him? It can't mean what it should if a Jesus-rejector is valued as a husband over obedience to Christ.


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• Christian
• friend
• who
• just
• got
• engaged
• non-Christian

[frmdeath2life]

@medisue Not sure what your Scripture verse has to do with this video. ...."Why CHOOSING an unbeliever for a spouse is wrong". 1 Cor. 7:13-14 is for believers in Corinth who are already married and have come to the Lord. God's word is clear that a believer should never BECOME yoked with an unbeliever. This was an excellent explanation for those who struggle with feelings for someone outside their faith. We should never choose verses to validate what is right in our own eyes.

[medisue]

"how can you be intimately involved with a man who does not say 'Jesus is Lord' " How about 1 Corinthians 7:13-14 "And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy."

[gramosjr7]

What happens when you die?Have you told lies, stolen, used God's name in vain(10 Commandments)? If yes, then you're a liar, thief, and a blasphemer in the sight of God. When you die & be judged by God, you'll be guilty of sin, & go to Hell! But God sent His Son Jesus to shed His blood & die on a cross for your sins, He was buried & rose again from the dead on the third day. If you'll believe the Gospel(Jesus's death for your sins,His burial & resurrection)you'll not perish & have eternal life

[agfigueroaa]

@1974Coconut you can endlessly say "but..." and victimize yourself. Get up! surrender to Christ!, Let Him to show His mercy!

[1974Coconut]

@agfigueroaa but this man is married, he has a ring. Besides, you can wait and search a believer wife and have children when you are 55. I can't. We are different.

[agfigueroaa]

@1974Coconut I am not having sex with my wife. I do not have a wife. I am not having sex.

[TheConcolor]

@1974Coconut Is your God a loving God? Is your God a caring God? Is your God a just God?

Would such a God place you in this place and put these feelings in your heart, only to forbid you to marry?

It's your life and your choice, and you find the answers yourself :)

[1974Coconut]

@agfigueroaa I AM! You shouldn't give your "advise" to anybody, if you are having sex with your wife every day. Don't teach others what to do, if you are not doing to same first! I bet you have been happily married for what, 50 years and are blessed with children and grandchildren who keep the company at holidays,care for you when you are old and bury you.I don't have it THANKS TO PREACHRS LIKE YOU!You talk the talk but don't walk the walk first! Don't teach others what you can't keep yourself!

[agfigueroaa]

@1974Coconut Then, start preaching the Gospel!



[1974Coconut]

@agfigueroaa REALLY?!!? You should see my little town in my little country, and the little church, where everybody are married!! Nice advice, just move! Thanks. Will you send the money for moving for me, and give me a new job from there, and what if no christian man wants me, or exists in there?? Your advice is childish, and only proves thet you don't know ANYTHING you are talking about, before you have actually done it yourself first. There are isolated islands in the world too, don't you know?