a lovely song about a magical unicorn who is the secret saviour of mankind
Lyrics:
this is a story of a mighty unicorn,
who had on his head a giant horn,
despite this fact he's looking forlorn,
As I just stole his stack of porn.
...Masturbation, is his fixation,
much to his mother's total vexation,
She would rather he was into defenestration,
or a less filthy occupation.
You see for the unicorn wanking's a crime,
that could end in serious jail time.
For each drop of their semen that's spilled,
a member of the monarchy could be killed.
but there really is good reasons,
for his many testicular treasons,
if he stopped; so would the seasons,
powered as they are by his seminal legions.
He stopped once just for a week,
out of curiosity so he could peak,
to see what havoc he could reek,
and he documented his findings like a geek.
Three tornadoes and seven types of cheese
came out of africa when it went and sneezed.
as for the artic; it should have seen it coming,
antartica travelled north and gave it a bumming.
and that was all only on the first day,
man you should have seen the mess we were by thursday,
whole of the world was in complete dissaray,
trying to keep a nuclear war at bay,
No one knew of the unicorns existence,
so the global changes were met with resistance,
"it must be terrorists!" was the west's insistence,
and a war started up with a foul persistence.
The penguins fought with the polar bears,
putting down anthrax outside of their lairs,
then they went and gang fucked your mother,
filling her full of their penguiny blubber.
*guitar solo*
while the unicorn sat, making his notes,
I smuggled the porn out inside of my coats,
it was all sordid stuff like fauns fucking throats,
and weirdos inserting things into goats.
...he looked up at me as got my bike,
he started to charged and impaled me on his head spike,
he porn flew out and opened on a page he liked,
and that made his purple wand rise like a kite.
And then I saw his indecision,
and grew in me a foul suspicion,
I knew he was thinking of cracking one out,
even with me still stuck on his head spout.
Right away he got down to business,
in under five minutes he was shooting out his mess,
he did all this with such grace and finesse,
the resulting pattern; it looked like George Best.
With that there was a knock at the door,
There was Winter he was dressed like a whore,
asked if he could dine on the unicorn's spore
Then the rest turned up and started slurping at the floor.
after that there came some recognition,
for this unicorn and his wanking mission,
the world made up and became more efficient,
instead of treating each other with complete derision.
...But just because he is out saviour,
doesn't mean he acts with savoury behaviour.
In fact if you remove his wanking stunt,
He's a complete....
...unicorn that doesn't wank.
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5:09
The Unicorn Songby chotim162,064 views
@cptncrossjoint guilty as charged :)
squishedpimp 3 months ago
did you write that?
cptncrossjoint 3 months ago
and done.
make sure you listen to it in at least 720p.. don't know why the audio decides to distort and lower resolutions.. dodgy youtube compression I guess.
squishedpimp 10 months ago
@fomoran well I can sort out one of those things...
squishedpimp 10 months ago
lyrics in the description and second mic pointed at you singing would have made this better... but still pretty damn awesome bud.
fomoran 10 months ago