Brianna the Lesbian
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"holy jesus god my teeth taste like street"
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she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
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"My cat is cover in bald patches. WTF happened last night?!"
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(970):
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
(303):
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
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okayy i got a text last night from my gay guy friend zach he was so drunk~!
"hwyy moiergan immn hippo on couboy sex on bunbbl,e wrappi"
^^^^Exact words^^^^
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"We got kicked out of Barnes and Noble for putting the Bibles in the Fiction section"
1 week ago 3
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so gay but good story
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@JannineishTV funny as hell
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Friend)omg hope do u remeber the guy with the scarf and the blonde hair...
Me)yeah jason ...why??
Friend)omg he is so hot!!! But hes dating some dike chick ewhh
So im gunna get him drunk and sleep with him bet hes good in bed;)
Me) ummh...thats a guy jason is gay and unless u got a dick to shove up his ass dont think its gunna work
Friend)..................
Funny text from this morning xD
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he sounds so Ghetto!
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"sex on bubblewrap: best. decision. ever."
thefireflyer27 5 months ago 93
(909): He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
MsBandgeek33 5 months ago 15