Kevin Smith on Superman

Hilarious insights by Kevin Smith on the most recent Superman movie. Taken at New York comicon 2/25/07 during a Q&A session. Sound isn't great. Transcript below:

Superman I walked into -- and I- you know, I'm not even saying I went into it with insanely high expectations that weren't met... I'm just saying it was kind of boring. ya know? (applause) Like an hour into it I was just like: "Alright the good part's comin, I swear.." And it's just like...Lex Luthor has yet another real estate scam... it's a very unevenly matched battle, you know, where you've got one of the world's --the world's most powerful being and a dude who's just like: "yeah I will only give a mortgage of like 24%."

It's like -- I don't know -- I guess it's just kinda one of those things -- like why didn't they at least make Lex Luthor a purple jumpsuit thing with ???? and whatnot and wearing a suit of armor and shit. I mean I would have just like to see Superman punch anything and he didn't...that was kind of disappointing. But the thing -- my biggest problem with that movie was the lock-in loophole, cuz he goes off -- superman 2, right? Whole thing is predicated on superman 2 happening, cuz he fucks lois, and lois has a kid and then he leaves for 5 years and then he comes back to Earth and shit like that, and he didn't know it was half his kid...so the end of superman 2 -- and you have to discount the Dick Donner cut that they released on dvd because that's not the canon that's just something they released-- the canon is what we all know and grew up with and love.

--Richard Lester cut.

-Totally. So -- so Lois has this kid -- she doesn't know it's Superman's kid, cuz at the end of Superman 2 he kisses her and she forgets everything and she sits down writing and she's like "what's happening in the world?" -- So it's like he has this weird power that he's never had anywhere else: I kiss you and make you forget shit. So it's no more weird than almost spinning the earth backward and turning back time, rather than just spin it off its axis and shoot it into the fucking sun...

So -- so Lois has forgotten that she's had sex with superman and there's this moment in the movie where you know she sees the kid pitch a piano and shit and kill some dude and she's like: "I wonder if Superman's got something to do with this.."

So then she goes to see Superman in the hospital, which is weird in and of itself: Superman in a hospital bed and all that....and whispers something in his ear which, we are to assume is her saying "you have a son" because suddenly he's got his whole "emo alone" bitch - ???? - you know it's like - it's like "hey I'm not alone" cuz this is all about how he feels so separated from everybody, and there's nobody else like him and he just came back from an interstellar space journey looking for anybody like him and there all gone, but now he knows there's this little kid who has a little bit of him in him...in a good way...Um...

So Lois tells him about it, and then he gets up and he takes off and becomes Superman again and shit and he feels much better about being Superman and doesn't feel so alone...

I just think there should have been a big fuckin moment in that movie where she comes to him she doesn't whisper "hey you have a kid," she's like "when did you rape me?" Cuz it's like: "apparently I have your kid, but I don't remember ever tossing your salad - ???? -- (douchbag laughing) ---either that or you are truly faster than a speeding bullet."

I mean I thought that was disturbing, you know, there's just no moment where she's just like "When the fuck did this happen?" - ???? -

Um...I thought that was weird...Cuz suddenly she just knew...suddenly she sees the kid pitch the piano and she's like "oh it must be Superman's kid" and never sits there goes "Man, when did it happen?"

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[Jordanmode]

I think we got into this on another video clip. I stand by my response to that one. Vampire serority girls, kung fu Lana... hell let's throw in witchy Chloe and Lois as well. Smallville was fun for a while but it's pretty damn rediculous.

It may have done a better job "modernizing" but Superman Returns wasn't at all an attempt at modernizing Superman. It was the opposite. It was an attempt to portray a more classic Superman whereas Smallville is Superman in Dawson's Creek.

[markmaille]

hey syinger was better then what jon peters wanted

[CorpusCallosal]

@markmaille

Jon Peters was the producer for Superman Returns.

[BigKnGa]

piloneman, you are an idiot. i never said anything against the Reeve superman. read my comment again

[piloneman]

BigKNGa, don't be hating on the Christopher Reeve's Superman because it was awsome and a true classic at that and was the reason why I got into superman a long time ago.

HOWEVER, there is a reboot being planned.

[BigKnGa]

that was not an homage....it was nothing but a fucking remakes of the first TWO...not first one. all the lines in SR were the same damn lines in the first movie. It was crap. I liked routh's acting, and I liked spacey as luthor....but they never had a chance to really shine in their characters because they wer elocked in a crappy rehash of old lines from the original Reeve's movies.

[BigKnGa]

the original wa the way better film. come on....in donners cut, he destroys the fortress...and luthor is arrested by THE U.S. ARTIC PATROL????!!!!!! At his doorstep at the fortress...where no one is supposed to know it exists?! There is a reason donner's cut was never in the movie. it is a cool alternative, way better than superman returns. But never say that donner's cut was better.

[sweetneesy71]

say didnt he bang lana too? why didnt she have his kid?

[Reebee52]

I think the thing is that this is a 'loose' sequel to the first two. It's presumed Supers and Lois banged a lot more than the one time, I think.

[danxtur]

Superman Returns was good, but it did not make much sence for like many other reasons.

[beatlejuice72]

The Donner cut should not be discounted. It's the version of what should have been. The Lester cut was crap-pure and simple. What they should have done with the new "Superman" series is reboot the series and start from scratch.

[dragonflypics]

X MEN was crack. Beyond that i cant say that singer has done a good picture.