Trichotillomania/mind

Although I made the public video "Trichotillomania" in May 2009... I had attempted to create things to express myself and explain what trichotillomania was.... a long long time, years infact, before hand. I have videos of me talking about my hair pulling from years ago, but not knowing what it was....

Trich is an almost OCD which involves pulling out my own hair....

This was one od those expressive videos I created.... I tried to create a range of photos... at the time, none of my subscribers were aware of this part of me, the hair loss/pulling, so it made little sense....

After taking a few, I took more and more, and before I knew it - they were more ''adult" erm..... I mean well - you'll see - with the ties.

I think I could write forever about my feelings on trich.

But hopefully many things in these photos such as facial expressions, objects etc - express me better.

-------------------------------------


Feeling much better :)
I haven't "written-blog" blogged in while - and I need to.

First and foremost.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/beckie0

-This is ongoing.
-It would be interesting to see "newcomers" reactions to this.
-Those of you who know me more will see.
-The Beckie "flip".
-What does Beckie, unconsciously think, when she does it.
-When I started taking these photos - They were for my art prepwork.

Some things are symbolic in here.


F.A.Q.:
Why do you do it?
Goes back to year 7 - urgh.
Confidence.
Stress
Anxiety.

Now, its more of an obsession, which has no pattern.

Does it hurt?
In some places, above my ears - yes. However, my head doesn't feel it anymore.

How long have you been doing it?
I have played with my hair since toddler years, but the last 4 years, its been more than playing.

Why can't you just stop?
Picture this:

It's OCD - it's something you can't control.
Its like an itch on your arm, a nat bite - and you know you shouldn't scratch - but you end up doing it anyway.

My Own Q:
I can never understand, how depressed I can get because of it.
The bald patches
The countless tears at the hair dressers
Fear of the hair dressers.
Jealousy.
Anger.

Yet, I am the one who does it in the first place.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KX2B4UoEeo

It can take a long time to grow.

What upsets me the most is:

Several weeks/months of hard work: tangles, tying my hands together, EVERYTHING possible........ can be destroyed in minutes.

Back to March 2007 - Yes 2007 - we go - layers again me thinks.

Repeating history.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• beckie0
• trichotillomania
• trich
• hair
• pulling
• stress
• anger
• ocd
• control
• disorder
• obsessive
• compulsive
• impulse

[lees8597]

Why Why Why WHY WHY did you private the longer Trich video ? It helped me so much

[flaweddesign83]

i really really appreciated the original vid and watched it in it's entirety. you are really talented with media. why did you choose to make the longer video private? you are doing to world a great service by being so open about your struggle. thank you!

[epiphany740]

the best thing for this type of disorder is to stay busy and in the public eye.. sports particularly, will definitely keep you from pulling while in them, and when oyu r at home, your too tired to stay awake and pull as much

[creaturefthenight2]

@mikorox08 I have Trichotillomania and trust me you cant control it

[cole505wso]

@mikorox08 You really can't control it. Almost all the time you don't even realize you're doing it. Kind of like my ADHD, I'm always moving my legs but I never notice it. I know, not quite the same but it's sort of similar. No matter how badly you want to stop your body simply won't let you.

[HauntedDollBella]

There are medicines that help control OCD

[FreeDumb001]

@samslayerr put yourself in her position. its not just like she can sit down and stop okay? i know you're trying to be helpful but....

[samslayerr]

you should do some activites sports to keep you busy that should help. and thinking you cant control it wont help at all. you can control it your doing it to yourself you have to be strong and over come your situation.

[GlitzyCat15]

@mikorox08 wooow you researched it and you think you know all about it now? um she's living it and no you can't control it.

[laciki]

@mikorox08 Uh...I'm pretty sure she's "researched" it as well.....

Anyway, thanks for these vids,@beckie0. I'm also a film major, and I am struggling through PTSD. Your vids have been very helpful and made me feel a bit less on my own.