Can't Live With Myself [ Choices I've Made ]

Angssssssst. Personal angst.
Every memory you have is precious; the good and the bad. We all want to block out the periods of our life we hate or regret, to bleach out the colour and let them fade away...
I was so selfish.
I thought she was trying to get attention, telling us about how she hurt herself and how upset she was. We argued, fought over nothing whatsoever, but at least smoothed it all over in the end...
But on the 4th of January she said goodbye after school, walked off in the other direction, home. And I never saw her again.
Worst of it was, I didn't believe it the next day. A guy in my class told me what he'd managed to dredge from the countless rumours, on our way to the hall we'd been told to gather in, walking from our register. He didn't know who had died- and neither did I, until they said her name.
They wouldn't tell me why. They said it was an accident, and I assumed that because of the ice maybe her car had been in a wreck or something; part of me didn't want to know the details.
And, last month, my mum found me with the paper, pushed it into my lap, pointed at a section a few pages in and squashed at the bottom of the page.
"That's horrible," was all she could say.
I know how she died, and it's... just distressing to think of what she did, even now. I don't really want to say what she did to herself, and I'm really sorry I dumped this pile of misery on you guys.
Dedicated in loving memory of my "Lucy", who I couldn't make this for well enough to drag it out until her... date of passing, however you want to say it.
Lightning is me in the present and up till a year ago. Namine is the same person- three years ago; Serah a year and a half; and Vanille around November '08.
Tifa is the lovely, late Sophie; and Kairi/Xion, Garnet, and Lenne respectively.
Cid Rayne [think that's spelt right] is used to represent Jack, who first told me that "Some girl had died from our year"; those were his exact words.
Hope is Charlie, my little brother, who I lashed out at and argued with when I was at my worst; I know you probably don't remember anymore, but no nine year old deserves the hell I put you through last January, and I'm so unbearably sorry.
Rikku and Yuna are just there... to represent a few people. I don't have specific roles in mind, but they could be quite a few of my friends. D:
Following the lyrics should be enough...

Oh, and the big pink tinted gap? Vegas didn't want to render that clip. I tried three times but it wouldn't work and I didn't have much to put there. Some parts might be flipped the wrong way around; I guess I forgot.

Category:

Gaming

Tags:

• Lucy
• Tifa
• Lightning
• Personal
• RIP
• Sophie

[PrincessGarnetXVI]

who sings this song

sounds like skillet

this is so amazing..im sadd

[PureEnglishRose]

Yeah, it's Skillet. Pretty much why Youtube blocked it. D:

But thank you! <3

[1heartgirl]

stupid copyright *eats youtube*

but its a lovely video

*hugs*

[PureEnglishRose]

Thanks. ^^ And I hope it's working right for everyone now.

[Khsiztas]

NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU the musics gone! D:

[PureEnglishRose]

Getting it back, I hope. D:

[LadyYuna1234]

i'm sorry about your loss... ):

[TidusYunaSoraRiku]

Wow....you are soooo amazing at making vids!!! And i cried when i read that. i went through the same type of thing....Even though its been like more than a month since you posted this, know that she's looking down on you, happy that you still remember her, no matter how much it hurts. XD

[Rachelplum]

This is a beautiful video and a fitting tribute. I hope you're okay,I hope you don't feel guilty about not knowing she was seriously hurting, no one can know for sure. You were a good friend, and you still are - you still miss her and love her and that's what counts. ^^

I hope you are ok.

[leecrew82]

I've watched this a few times over the last day and a half, trying to think of something to say to you to make you feel better. But I guess... nothing I saw can make that sort of pain go away.

I'm really sorry for your loss. It's a hard thing, to lose someone you love. But just know, nothing is your fault, even if you feel that way. I wish you the best in all you do.

"The people and the friends we have lost, or the dreams that hace faded. Never forget them."

[Mydarisis]

I'm really sorry for you, I've been there myself, where your friend was... as well as where you are... You know, as much as you want to know, you won't ever know if she died on accident or on purpose, I had a friend like you who thought it was just for attention, it took about 8 years for her to come in contact with me again, she had gone through a lot of what I had previous gone through and she was so sorry...you can't blame yourself, because nothing you could have done would have stopped her.

[SamioDaynilloAnnie]

I'm so sorry for you, i do know how is loose someone you care about...

It looks nothing gotta be good again, but one day you figure out "what she gotta say or do if she be with me today?"

i really hope and pray to you get better.

YOu had a full life ahead

RIP Sophie: i don't know you, but i think you should be a wonderfull person.

*hugs*

~-Ana Carolina

[BlackHaruChann]

this is an amazing video.

And i can say i understand how you feel, since i lost two of my best-friends just like this. The video portrayed the emotions really well. It was magnificently edited...(is that even a word...)

But yeah...i hope you feel better soon and don't stress yourself too much about it either. I'm sure Sophie would be happier if you just lived on happily for yourself as well as for her.

Great video, once again :)

[diinodoll]

aww its so beautiful ;___;

[nisselox]

a damn good video =) nearly made me cry when i read the text too and watched it again =( R.I.P sophie

[FinalFantasyNippon3]

So sweeet