Malaysia - Mad Dogs And Englishmen

Noël Coward


In tropical climes there are certain times of day

When all the citizens retire

To tear their clothes off and perspire.

It's one of those rules that the greatest fools obey,

Because the sun is much too sultry

And one must avoid its ultra-violet ray.


The natives grieve when the white men leave their huts,

Because they're obviously definitely nuts!


Mad dogs and Englishmen

Go out in the midday sun,

The Japanese don't care to.

The Chinese wouldn't dare to,

Hindoos and Argentines sleep firmly from twelve to one.

But Englishmen detest a siesta.

In the Philippines

There are lovely screens

To protect you from the glare.

In the Malay States

There are hats like plates

Which the Britishers won't wear.

At twelve noon

The natives swoon

And no further work is done,

But mad dogs and Englishmen

Go out in the midday sun.


It's such a surprise for the Eastern eyes to see

That though the English are effete,

They're quite impervious to heat,

When the white man rides every native hides in glee,

Because the simple creatures hope he

Will impale his solar topee on a tree.


It seems such a shame

When the English claim

The earth

That they give rise to such hilarity and mirth.


Mad dogs and Englishmen

Go out in the midday sun.

The toughest Burmese bandit

Can never understand it.

In Rangoon the heat of noon

Is just what the natives shun,

They put their Scotch or Rye down,

And lie down.

In a jungle town

Where the sun beats down

To the rage of man and beast

The English garb

Of the English sahib

Merely gets a bit more creased.

In Bangkok

At twelve o'clock

They foam at the mouth and run,

But mad dogs and Englishmen

Go out in the midday sun.


Mad dogs and Englishmen

Go out in the midday sun.

The smallest Malay rabbit

Deplores this foolish habit.

In Hong Kong

They strike a gong

And fire off a noonday gun,

To reprimand each inmate

Who's in late.

In the mangrove swamps

Where the python romps

There is peace from twelve till two.

Even caribous

Lie around and snooze,

For there's nothing else to do.

In Bengal

To move at all is seldom,

If ever done,

But mad dogs and Englishmen

Go out in the midday sun.

Category:

Pets & Animals

Tags:

• Mad
• Dogs
• And
• Englishmen
• Noël
• Coward

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