How to Be a Hot Mess

Whether you aspire to be a hot mess, or want to know what exactly a hot mess is so you'll never be called one, these guidelines will help.

To complete this how-to, you will need:

Tight clothes
Bad hairstyle
Tacky makeup
Tan
Alcohol

Step 1: Figure out your size

Figure out what your ideal dress size is, then squeeze into clothes that are 2 sizes smaller than that.

Step 2: Dress carefully

Wear your bottoms low and your tops high so you'll always have a muffin top, even if you're not overweight. Pair ripped pantyhose with hot pants and always wear shoes too high for you to walk in gracefully.

Step 3: Find a hairstyle

Find a hairstyle befitting a hot mess. Choices include clip-on extensions that don't hide the clips very well, a fried perm, a mullet, a reverse mullet, or hair bumped up 3 inches at the crown.

To be a really hot mess, combine 2 or more of these hairstyles.

Step 4: Wear the right makeup

Wear the right makeup: non-waterproof mascara, blue eye shadow, and lip liner darker than your lipstick. No need for foundation thanks to your tan: either lie in a tanning bed until your skin is the texture and color of well-done bacon, or pile on the fake stuff that turns you orange.

Step 5: Drink to excess

Drink too much. Lose your lunch in public. Swear you'll never drink again. Repeat the next day.

Step 6: Put it all together

Master any one of these steps and you'll be a hot mess. Put them all together and a whole new hot mess category will have to be invented for you.

"Hot mess" is believed to have originated from the image of a steaming dog pile.

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Category:

Howto & Style

Tags:

• be
• hot
• mess
• become
• dress
• hairstyle
• makeup
• mullet
• drink
• tan

[rocketsfan01n11]

How to be Ke$ha.

[limegurl319]

Thumbs up if you can still remember the times when Howcast made useful videos,instead of just ''How to be trailer trash'' etc.

[mangok8]

this is fucking stupid...

[TheSpillinator]

Extremely pointless.

[lolarosecola]

Oh howcast why did I ever subscribe..?

[JRabsey]

sooo..... how to be be dog crap?

[ylime1996]

the awkward moment when you didnt realise your a hot mess.

[MCBRONX]

aham change the title to --> how to be a filthy slut cos that makes more sense than watching this redneck hoe

[twinkyhoho]

um someone called me a hot mess T.T and i dont do any of these things! i wear long shirts and high pant dont ware alot of makeup i dont drink my hair does not look like that and i dont put on fake tan crap! grrr maybe i take things to much to heart although i do have a muffin top sometime but i cant help it! im just fluffy xD

[candied88dj]

how to be jersey ?

[XxWhat0EverxX]

omg it looks like kesha but with brown hair!!!!