2.7 Deconversion: Losing God

I explain the torturous emotional roller-coaster and eventual desolate hopelessness and terror that resulted from losing my theistic God.

For progress updates on the next video, subscribe to:
http://twitter.com/Evid3nc3

All excerpts used in this video are either copyright-free or covered under "fair use" in Title 17 § 107 of the USC.

Music (in order of appearance):
"Swamp" by Télépopmusik
"Bloodstone" by Amon Tobin
"Welcome to the Real World" by Don Davis

Image Attributions:
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Enrico_Fabris_Screaming_2006.jpg
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Blutabnahme_02.jpg
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:A_Dark_Sky_Over_Sequoia_National_Park.jpg
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Cow_Skull-2.jpg
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Rosa_Parks_Old_GM_Bus_serial_number_11...
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Iraqi_man_on_Baghdad_street.jpg
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Baby_Turtle.jpg
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:IMG_5799_-_Milano_-_Ossario_di_San_Ber...
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Hersenen.png
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:PET-image.jpg

.

Category:

Education

Tags:

• God
• Christian
• atheist
• secular
• humanist
• deconversion
• conversion
• saved
• baptism
• Bible
• holy
• spirit
• pentecostal
• assemblies
• of
• god

[blitzel3]

I found myself unexpectedly sobbing around 2am last night because I knew that all I wanted to do was serve God, i.e. serve the Truth Himself, but I no longer believed any of that was meaningful or true. It's like killing a part of yourself. That image with the hands over the face speaks volumes.

[OurStrength1]

@genobahamut1337 I thought it's lightening and when I opened my eyes it wasn't it was a small cross like a star shining in the room very beautiful and I knew I had my answer. It's always amazing to me no matter how he answers or what he sends me but then God is amazing.

[OurStrength1]

@genobahamut1337 No I said it what you said was does he wait for someone to ask for help and the answer is yes when you ask you pray, prayer works it always has for me if it hasn't for others it's either because they don't have the faith it will be answered or they're breaking a commandment. The last prayer that was answered for me I had asked God something that had been bothering me and that night while I was sleeping a light flashed before my face and before I opened my eyes

[OurStrength1]

@OurStrength1 So I understand now the sadness for Mr Hitchens he never turned to God, but the Holy Spirit told me to pray for his soul so I ask every Christian out there who reads this to say a prayer for him.

[OurStrength1]

@OurStrength1 finally made sense to me, the sadness I felt wasn't from me it was from God, this had happened to me before months earlier but that time it only lasted a few minutes. He let me know that he wanted me to reach his Jewish people and let them know that he has always been there for them, he has always loved them and he wants them to be with him. The feeling of sadness and love were so strong that there were tears, it was really an amazing feeling

[OurStrength1]

@MrGidderz Sure you have free will you always will but God touched you just for a moment. The day that Christopher Hitchens died I honestly didn't know who he was but the moment I heard it on the news an overwhelming sadness came over me that stayed with me all day long. I remember thinking what's wrong with me why do I feel so sad for someone I never knew and why does it stay with me. It wasn't till later when I read the news online and read that he was of Jewish descent that it

[genobahamut1337]

@OurStrength1 I never said you had to pray to receive. In fact, if you saw the beginning of this series, you should already know that prayer has been proven not to work, and just by watching the last video you'd know that it is most likely your own mind you are talking to. Of course, you're too willing to believe to actually think about this rationally. You can't see that prayer doesn't work or that you could be delusional. If you could, you wouldn't be delusional.

[MrGidderz]

@OurStrength1 why do you think 'God' picked me to talk about Christopher Hitchens? Have I got no free will in my actions?

[OurStrength1]

@MrGidderz Wow, I prayed last week that someone would bring up Christopher's name I had searched for days through the other video's but no conversations were about him since it's been awhile since he passed. I never thought it would be on this one though MrGidderz seems that for a reason God chose you, on another day I will come back and give the message. (not enough time)

[OurStrength1]

@genobahamut1337 You have one thing right, you do have to pray to receive it's not going to come without prayer, as for helping the poor it's up to us to help them. He is a loving God but if you don't want anything to do with him you'll never know it.