BDSM - a guide to safe master/slave relationships from Mistess M

I swear I am not making this up - I week ago I got a message for Mistress M from a young lady asking for advice about finding herself as new master in the BDSM world, which stands for Bondage/Discipline/Sadism/Masochism in case you didn't know. THE VERY NEXT MESSAGE was from a different young lady OFFERING advice about how to lead a safe BDSM lifestyle and suggesting Mistress M share the tips. So here we are.

And here are the tips:

1. Safe, Sane and Consensual- This is the first rule for every public BDSM/fetish club in Australia. While the 'sane' measure of this can be variable, beginners need to remember they're beginners and there's no shame in taking baby steps.

2. Don't be irrational. The concept of rushing into an intense relationship with an intense person can be very appealing to people, especially when the offer of 'collaring' is involved (collaring is where you're 'bound' to another person with a collar. The concept is that it's very permanent, cementing the Dominant/submissive type relationship).

3. You have a right to feel comfortable. If someone is making you uncomfortable with what they are doing to you, or saying to you, tell them that you feel uncomfortable and you want them to stop. The dungeon master (Or, y'know, security outside) should be more than willing to help you if they persist.

4. Respect. More often than not, these clubs are very friendly and far more approachable than any other club I've been to (creepers are inevitable, though). People will let you feel the texture of their clothes and sometimes be more than willing to give you a taste of whatever skill they appear to have brought with them. Being respectful to the people around you and not mouthing off ignorantly about their apparent fetish is a must. If you've got something negative to say, keep it to yourself.

5. Consent- can be withdrawn at any time. This can be done with objects or words, known as 'safety words' or items. If they continue after you have used your safety code it becomes assault, make the biggest, noisiest scene you can so someone else is alerted. If you see someone who has had their safety code ignored, raise the word.

6. Go with a friend. There's something a little terrifying about being by yourself in a club full of people wearing tight laced corsets and latex, flogging each other, pouring hot wax on one another or zapping each other with electrical instruments. Observing the first time is a good idea. Or even the first four times.

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[Minyaa82]

I have heard about bdsm last year from my friend back in australia( where i lived).

I liked, he introduced me, he wanted me to try with him but i didnt want. Now Im with my fionce but were far apart, he works overseas. I have mentioned that I do have a high sex drive, Ofcourse thankfully he does as well, he wants to try things with me, I have told him that I do like kinky sex, or a little of the whole 'slave, master' But how do you start? I know that Im going to laugh or giggle...Lol...

[AngryAussie]

@Minyaa82 I have to admit, I'm slightly in the same boat.

[raverxbarbie]

I respect your video, don't get me wrong but i don't think it was nessescary to make a video in general telling us your pet hates when you're a domme ...

It's an underground world, keep it like that..

peace&love.

[AngryAussie]

@raverxbarbie I think you missed the point completely

[oraoraora4649]

Well this isn't about harddrives.

[AngryAussie]

@oraoraora4649 "Hard" - I get it

[aemenity]

I really love the cat.

[AngryAussie]

@HARDCOREREIGNS Meaning

[Minyaa82]

@AngryAussie It kinda sucks in a way, cause its odd to start I might laugh.. but i do feel sometimes that its messed up, but what the heck, u only live once!

[Minyaa82]

Im 20, at 1st when i knew i liked bdsm or interested, i was worried that my fionce would think im messed up... but he had a positive view from it.. :)