Fearing Men's Bathrooms

A brief discussion of gender policing and trans guys use of women's vs. men's bathrooms.

Category:

Education

Tags:

• ftm
• f2m
• transgender
• transsexual
• genderqueer
• queer
• bathrooms
• gender policing
• transition
• trans
• butch
• dyke

[jnicole58]

Not a personal experience, but recently a trans guy reported on Tumblr about being assaulted in the men's restroom on his college campus. Several cis guys who recognized him from class followed him in and attacked him. He was beaten and kicked. The assault ended when someone else came into the restroom. So, it may be rare, but it does happen.

That said, I'm not afraid, just aware.

[reesekelly]

@jnicole58 That's horrible. Thanks for sharing that information.

[bunnybuf3291]

I just freaked myself out because I thought about something. Periods! I just realized that! Oh no, so what am I supposed to do about that. I cant go into the girls bathrooms unless I want to start being feminine (NO THANKS) and I can be changing a tampon in the mens room, I will get beaten up! Please help!

[reesekelly]

I'm sure changing a tampon in the men's restroom is the same in the women's - you get in a stall, shut the door, and do it. Right? Not a big deal. The left over garbage you can just roll up in toilet paper and throw it in the trash bin on your way to the sink. :)

[transsending]

Great video and topic. On the light side- when i first started packing I didnt use any sock or such to hold it in place. Sat down in the ladies stall and did my business. Walked out. something wasn't right. ran back in tto the stall to find my little friend all alone on the floor. That was a close one. I secure that puppy now!!

[reesekelly]

that's a great story!

[doghairshirt]

how true; women have gone NUTS and i mean NUTS over my being in the womens' washroom for years and years; men don't seem to give a damn...but i do still have anxiety about the whole thing....

[alchemicalflowe]

This is all moot. it is illegal in most states for transwomen to use the womens bathroom due to the potential danger of these people raping women. Likewise transmen should be barred from using men's restrooms because the transmen might start raping the cis men

[iLandentify]

its a scary thing. but id rather be nervous and use the male's bathroom. cuz im extremely uncomfortable in a girls bathroom also. like ... girls are more social about their pissing. guys get in and get out.

[alectorejoice]

I've yet to come out to the general public, but even when I identified as being female, I've once been told to get out of the washroom. And the ironic thing is that I'd just started my period and needed a tampon. I was a convention with my uncle and didn't have anything fancy to wear so I wore one of his suits. I didn't look that ultra-masculine, I'd have to say, so I'm not quite sure why I was targeted. As of yet, I'm still scared to go on the men's room just because no one but my friends know

[LadyBethaliz]

I'm a butch-ish woman and when i'm in my uniform for work i look like a guy (yay baggy khakis and men's polo shirts) and I don't mind my androgyny, but sometimes i have a little naggy voice in my head that worries if someone's going to make a fuss cuz they think i'm a guy. I actually had a woman think she was in the wrong restroom because it was just me in there at the time. She didn't make a scene but just came in, saw me and gave a confused/apologetic look, left, then came back in again. :P

[wickedlove73]

I HAVE AND IT KEEPS ME FROM GOING INTO THE MENS ROOM NOW. IM TRANS AND IM REQUIRED TO LIVE AS A MAN FOR 3 MO B4 I CAN BE PUT ON T BUT IF I GO IN THE WOMENS ROOM I GET SECURITY CALLED ON ME SO IM A A STAND STILL . AND IDK WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

[quietfern]

In fact, I have the impression that cis-women can enter mens bathrooms if they vocalize that there's a long line for the women's/its broken, and men don't seem to protest, as long as they justify their presence. If this is true it reaffirms the theory that policing of gendered spaces is mostly about women's spaces.

Even though logically and from experience I know I'm safe in the mens room, I still feel a little anxiety every time I go in there...

[quietfern]

What your saying is true to my experience. I'm androgynous in appearance and am more often read as female. However, I've never been given a hard time by men in the mens room. I think they are too secure to be threatened, too busy staring at their shoes to notice I'm physically female, and/or are really not expecting "women" to be entering their spaces .

[amecarbon]

I am a masculine butch lesbian and I get bullied by women when using the ladies bathroom all the time. I try and avoid using public bathrooms for this reason. I try and use the disabled bathroom if there is an option because they are usually unisex. I have only used the men's a few times but fear getting 'found out' when I do. Most of my worst experiences have been in female bathrooms, though. Drunk women in clubs can be horrendous and to be avoided at all costs!