Jujyfruits Unwrapping And Taste Test Review

If you've ever wanted to eat silly putty, this is the treat for you.
I never thought I would fail at chewing.

Packaging

I wish they told us what fruits were on the cover. They certainly don't look like anything that sprang forth from the earth naturally. Actually, I think the guys at Farley And Sather's might have cooked up some freakish creations just for this candy. One of the "fruits" on the box looks like a cucumber that's been peppered with bullet holes for goodness sake! Why do these scientists insist on shooting nature's candy? Do they feel no remorse? Don't they know that a family of Granny Smith apples is a staple of the orchard community? All those oranges they slaughtered... were just days away from retirement. When will the brutality end Farley? Yes, you may share the same name with one of the greatest actors of all time (Chris Farley), but not even Tommy Boy can save you from this debacle. I remember seeing that movie years ago on network television. Although, I can't remember a darn thing about it. Something about a boss' daughter and a factory worker. I have a lot of respect for those who work in factories, it can't be an easy gig. All that heavy lifting, the constant fear of losing a limb, and smell of molten metal and coal. Worst of all, you have to get up early in the morning. That's one of my greatest pet peeves, rising early. It's not because of my lack of eagerness to take on the day, it's just that I always feel tired at around noon. I also don't want to drink coffee for fear of becoming dependent on it for the rest of my life. My mother loves tea though. Whenever I would hang out with her at her work, it wouldn't be uncommon to see her consume at least 5 cups throughout the night. I never understood the appeal of tea. I know green tea is said to be one of the healthiest drinks on earth but what's the appeal of normal tea? The only way I'll ever consume tea is if it's been infused with ice cream. There's a Japanese place near me that has some of the best green tea ice cream in Chicago. My old roommate used to have full body orgasms because of it.

Not on the ice cream though...

Taste, Texture, And Consistency

This was such a terrible experience. It's like the creators took the idea of a gummy candy and cranked it up to volume 11. Molasses has a smoother texture than this abomination. Let me paint a picture for you. Say it's summer time and you're gnawing away on a nice ear of corn. It's covered in butter, lemon, chili, and just a bit of salt. In other words, a treat fit for George Lopez. Now, imagine you've gotten a couple kernels stuck in your teeth. In the front and in the back molars. You try to dislodge them with your tongue but your efforts prove fruitless. To make matters worse, even if you manage to get the kernel itself out, the skin still lingers. Now take that frustration, and multiply it by 100. Do it 5 more times, and you're still not even close. These things must have nanomagnets inside them or something because they absolutely refuse to leave my teeth. It truly is, a fate worse than death. Still, it would be fun to give a few of these to your buddies and watch them struggle with them.

As long as you don't mind them never talking to you again.

Overall

One of the most unpleasant tasting experiences in my reviewing career. I can't even recall what flavor I consumed. All I can remember is the anxiety of trying to get the things out of my head. Pass on this one.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• fruits
• candy
• gummy
• chewy
• movie
• box
• hard
• to
• pronounce
• name
• impossible
• spell
• sticky
• glue
• gum
• eating
• this
• was
• like
• taffy
• from
• the
• underworld
• an
• evil
• treat
• how
• many
• teeth
• had
• be
• pulled
• because
• of
• these
• ban
• them
• say
• except
• in
• Canada
• and
• Belgium

[SugarKatie]

I dont live in the US so we can't get the snacks mentioned in my favorite sitcom Seinfeld. Thanks for this review, so I have a better idea of what jujyfruits look and taste like!

[frickfrock999]

@SugarKatie

Anything for a fellow Seinfeld fan! ^_^

[rchellerr]

You're adorable. Today you gave me something new to watch on YouTube! Candy reviews!!!!!! 

[frickfrock999]

@rchellerr

Well, I'm glad I could make your day ^_^

[Theraggy1]

lmfao your reviews make me laugh xD You just sound so 'o.O wtf is the candy' Keep on reviewing the nommy and the not so nommy stuff xD

[frickfrock999]

@Theraggy1

I shall! Thank you :3

[weezyfan25]

Everytime you take a bite of something you always make that sound " hmm", "mmhhmm" "hmmmmm" lol

[frickfrock999]

@weezyfan25

I do?!

I had no idea! :D

[asianinvasion84]

i lost a tooth from this

[rickyrat1000]

How many papayas?

[mlmincey95]

I have had that i hated it

[lolgirl546]

LETS MAKE DENTISTS WATCH THIS :D

[7DARKHELLS]

I use to eat these all the time in the movie theaters as a kid back in the 70s and they were real soft and chewy I liked them better then Gummi Bears!

But now days this candy dont taste as good as it did when I was a kid!

When I had some recently they were like chewing dried rubber cement glue!

I will always have good memories of this candy from my childhood but I dont know what the hell happened to it today!

[JENDALL714]

I ordered the shirt on the back of the box, it took six months and I totally forgot about it, but it finally came today! Jujyfruits are the best! You have to be a real man to enjoy Jujyfruits! Only sissy's eat gummy worms!

[BeyN810]

review war heads