I think this piece would make a better stage production than film. It was a little too monologue-y for all its cleverness.
I actually liked the "jolt-y"ness of the cutting to her on the phone. But for that to really work, that should have been the point of the humor rather than accidental. Which means they should have happened more frequently.
Keep making movies! You've got a talent for writing. -Luke
Great stuff; should've been some camera shots of Jack (closeups of his face as she talked, cuts back and forth); Stop These Shenanagins worked to me, but That Better Not Be What I Think It Is didn't.
great idea!! I loved it!
Groodle2 3 years ago
I think this piece would make a better stage production than film. It was a little too monologue-y for all its cleverness.
I actually liked the "jolt-y"ness of the cutting to her on the phone. But for that to really work, that should have been the point of the humor rather than accidental. Which means they should have happened more frequently.
Keep making movies! You've got a talent for writing. -Luke
TomySky 3 years ago
Great stuff; should've been some camera shots of Jack (closeups of his face as she talked, cuts back and forth); Stop These Shenanagins worked to me, but That Better Not Be What I Think It Is didn't.
stephennasby 3 years ago
Locks did a great job acting.
wilkinson4925 3 years ago
Terrific script and acting! Well done guys!
"Looocks...attorney at law..." :P Love that whiny voice. :D
DanielGardner 3 years ago
Ahhhh Very cute!! The transitions were a little jolt-y, but overall it was very entertaining! :D Good luck!
RuthLaroche 3 years ago