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How to Bounce a Drunk

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Uploaded by on Jul 22, 2009

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Expand the description and view the text of the steps for this how-to video.

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A guest didn't know when to say when? Here's how to give him or her the old heave-ho.

To complete this How-To you will need:

A clear head
A firm manner
And reasoning skills
A large set of muscles
And a little chicanery

Step 1: Pay attention. The loudmouth slamming beers in the corner could quickly turn into a problem.

Step 2: Issue a warning. Tell the problem drunk that if the bad behavior continues, he will have to leave.

Step 3: Cut him off. If he can't get more booze, he's apt to leave on his own.

Tip: Cut him off without his knowledge. Offer to make him a Long Island Iced Tea—a lethal drink notorious for not tasting like booze—but give him plain tea instead.

Step 4: Calmly explain it's in the person's best interest to go home—he won't embarrass himself, have a hangover, piss off his girlfriend. The best bouncers aren't brutes—they're good talkers.

Step 5: Borrow this old bouncer trick known as "turning up the fuzz." Turn the static on the stereo way up, and the music way down. He'll be so uncomfortable he'll want to leave—and everyone else will want him to, too.

Tip: Convey authority by standing up straight, keeping your chin up, and speaking in a clear, strong voice. And having the biggest guy in the room stand behind you doesn't hurt, either.

Step 6: Use the professional bouncer's favorite parting line: "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here."

Step 7: Time for drastic measures. Take his or her coat and belongings and place them outside the door.

Step 8: Don't be afraid to call the police. The last thing you need is an angry drunk waiting for you outside!

Thanks for watching How To Bounce a Drunk! If you enjoyed this video subscribe to the Howcast YouTube channel! http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=howcast

Category:

Comedy

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  • likes, 18 dislikes

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  • optional: muscles lol

  • lolsz the police show up with donuts!

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All Comments (73)

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  • thumbs up if you are the drunk or your just a random person watching

  • you will need: muscles

    optional: martial arts techniques a type of gun

  • How to bounce a drunk:

    You will need:

    A rubber drunk

  • @pugpuddles I thought it said how to bounce a drink.

  • i thought it said how to become drunk

  • lame

  • i thought it said how to bouce a DUNK

  • why does the drunk look like an alien?

  • @mellowdalyricist What did you expect?

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