Another Lot by Spike Milligan

A little known "song" by the greatest man ever to grace the world of comedy, Spike Milligan.

And although neither this video nor Spike will get any better, Spike remains hilarious.

"Lyrics" (and I'm pretty sure Spike just spoke gibberish at points, he loved nonsense)

Sold to mrs elanor clot for 2 guineas. Lot number 4
(coughing)
One mahogany bedside cabinet with flowered porcelain nature receptical. One folk loom twill and lish antimacasar. One heplawite telescope tripod with a tarnished brass securing screw. One imitable martian marhalam. One imitation marble washstand with purification dish and fish attachment. One anti-burglar self-preservator hand bludgeoned, sand filled and hand sewn brown leather. Two cleverly inquandric hand operated brown oak candle holders with additional string. One stuffed Galapogas giant turtle on wheels with clockwork revolving eyes. Two bottles of imitation wax fruit, one banana ruefully chipped, once the property of the late Lord Frederick Crapton-Lee of Monmarth. One brown...
(coughing)
With extra string. One brown leather and macket fireside chair. One engraved carpet-filled arctic tea cosy with additional string and computer. One brass iron-bound bedstead with springhead manipulator and foot operated mallet. A similar lot. 7 and a half pairs of brown damaged curtains with foam rubber lining well known in Belgravia. One cut-glass delf claret decanter with extra string. One brass and metal 3 foot 6 bedstead with haircord anti-tic mattress and sundry attachments. A similar lot. Another lot. One collection of high altitude eagle studies. Two volumes on how to ween vultures. One volume on how to leave vultures alone. A collection of unknotted string in hand twined balls and vice versa which ever be greater to the power of ten. 14 man mounted ivory monkeys cut from single raw tard elephant tusk and signed Jim Yakamoto of Leeds. One kiln-fired clay hairy alsation answering to the name of Tom Dick or Harry and in that order. One sheridan stirrup cup in squatted brond and kneed lux the property of the corn hunt and a similar lot. One box of brown haircord buttons each containing two or four perferations. A similar lot. One early X-ray photo of Florence Nightingale's teeth facing east. Extra string in abundance. One child's hangman's kit once used. Two heavy brown boxes on brass stilts. One polished monogrammed brass bound box containing three pairs of domestic knee protectors. One throat mallet. One small brown pot containing another small brown pot. One iron-bound uncle frightener in three foot lengths. One auntie disintegrator in matted haircord. One pair of anonymous fruitbowls with appliances....

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• spike
• milligan
• another
• lot
• auction
• silly
• funny

[jet936]

Many Thanks for this, and well done for finding the images, which can't have been easy, but I'd still very much like to know what an Uncle Frightener really looks like !

[p0rtaccio]

@jet936 Haha! Google images very disappointing when I typed that in 3 years ago. Maybe it would be better now.

[sornaiiii]

@frankyg008 As far as I know the music was written specifically for this piece. It was composed by George Martin, the Beatles' producer.

[aoxomoxoa88]

I knew he was surreal but this is out there! Mind you, he did turn into a bedsit on TV once, if my memory serves me well. I didn't know my memory played tennis!

[chrisj3356]

Brilliant stuff. Milligan at his best. Been looking for this for a while now - thanks for posting.

[frankyg008]

Does anyone know the music off this track.Ive been trying to find it for 20 years

[shirlsworth]

It's all out there...scary, isn't it?

[ufothe3]

I like your comment very much There is a feeling of melancholy, revernce even(?) for aged persons that a youngish Spike, to his credit, displayed, & this warmth of his character, endeared his audience to him all the more Remember his "Poem For The Lonely"? It read only one word, "Hello", yet it carried a lot of sensitivity & meaning And thankfully, his wonderful "sense of the ridiculous" was bubbling away just below the surface, ready to make me laugh & laugh & laugh!!!

[ufothe3]

I concur & agree at the same time "One throat mallet ".....Another Lot ..."One early X-ray photograph of Florence Nightingale's teeth,facing east"........"with extra string in abundance".....Milligan's sublime sense of the ridiculous is humour that "never" dates,however, it 's an "acquired taste" Uniquely unique, his genius stands alone, & it's on public display in the Woy Woy council chambers! No it's not!!!!

[ufothe3]

I agree