"If My Dick Were A Government" - Merk Merkin & Anime Friend

The first single from upcoming rap stars Merk Merkin (Montréal, QC) and Anime Friend (Austin, TX)

INTRO:
MM: Eyyo Merk Merkin, mothafucka!
AF: Anime Friend in the house!
MM: Woo!
AF: Woo! Swag.

VERSE 1 (MM+AF alternating couplets):
If my dick were a government it'd be communism
Cuz I give everybody equal rights to my jism
If my dick were a government it'd be socialist
Letting all the neighbors hear your talent as a vocalist
If my dick were a government it'd be a bureaucracy
It's giant and it's way more complicated than it gots to be
If my dick were a government it'd be a republic
I'm straight up Greek--I wrestle naked in public
If my dick were a government it'd be a grand duchy
Bitch, I'm the duke; only the duchess can suck me
If my dick were a government it'd be parliament
Month's notice at least if I want to deploy armament
If my dick were a government it'd definitely be liberal
Big government, bitch, fuck that Tea Party drivel
If my dick were a government it'd be old-school conservative
Wrinkled and crusty, pharaoh's ballsack preservative

CHORUS (MM+AF):
Fuck your elections, fuck your appointments
You've got yourself a ruler that needs daily ointments
The day it rose to power, all the nations cried
My dick rules the world; I'm just along for the ride

BREAK (4 Lads):
Istanbul! [2x]

VERSE 2 (MM+AF alternating couplets):
If my dick were a government it'd be despotic
I'm the sole ruler of the land of the erotic
If my dick were a government it'd be a tyranny
I make your mom hop on it, even though she's got dystrophy
If my dick were a government it'd be a protectorate
I'm an iron fist, ruling over the whole erectorate [sic]
If my dick were a government it'd be an empire
Stretching from Soho over to Frodo's Shire
If my dick were a government it'd be a police state
It shoots at your face after just one court date
If my dick were an economic model it'd be capitalism
Cuz when it gets near you, you want it to...mmm...fill up your class schism
If my dick were a government it'd be a confederacy
It'll never rise again, but it's got the ill legacy
If my dick were a government it'd be a dictatorship
I suppress the documentation that says it's the size and shape of a potato chip

CHORUS [2x]

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People & Blogs

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• govmovie