Bill Maher's Touching Tribute to Jerry Falwell

Leviticus 18:22 clearly states homosexuality to be an abomination. (old law)
Since we use the "old law" here, let's see what other old laws there are.

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

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• Jerry
• Falwell

[KoreanSatan]

@disciplesofthecross "What you think, you become"

Gautama Siddharta

[KoreanSatan]

@disciplesofthecross so is your.

[disciplesofthecross]

@sargentD808 I'd rather be wise...

[sargentD808]

@disciplesofthecross You are not very smart.

[disciplesofthecross]

Bill Maher has a big surprise coming when his heart stops...

[budc516]

@disciplesofthecross I would rather spend a lifetime believing to find out it doesn't exist than spend a lifetime not believing to find out it does.

[budc516]

@glower125 Best explanation of Maher and Falwell I have ever heard.

[clintonplaza]

Although intelligent folk realize there is none, we can only hope there is a hell for that fat, POS to burn in!

[TheeMysteryHour]

@glower125 CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!