Fourteen -JKJones (new version)

this is a remake of the track i made a little while ago. do you like it? i do have 16 subs now but thats beyond the point so ya beat by http://www.youtube.com/user/ZetaTiKappa and tell me what you think

Lyrics:
Verse 1: no rapper 13 or 14 can step to me thats why i rep the b/-r-a-m-p-t-o-n you mess with me thats your end ima send/ you straight to hell hit your head with a bell/ no im joking stop the violence im rapping i demand silence/ or maybe you don't want to listen thats ok im not arrogant when im absent/ no one notices thats alright im just trying to find out were the ancient lotus is/ i was trying show y'all but you consider me small but its weird i cant recall/ last time you spit a bar maybe its because your head is vacant like a empty like a jar you threaten me but you live far/ and you woudnt be a gangster if we were/ face to face and you no thats closed case/ and don't get me wrong im as gangster as a c-e-o 5 or 6 more bars then the hooks got to go/ im like eagle eye not the girl or the guy/ the computer im always watching i see how you be mocking/ those you claim to admire ya your a liar because you desire/ the fame and the fortune but you should just improve on the skills thats what goin get you the kills/ in that battle see but you still wont be able to raddle me/

HOOK: when i spit there are no survivors but still i ain't got but 14 subscribers and it seems that im sinking like divers/ when i spit there are no survivors but still i ain't got but 14 subscribers and it seems that im sinking like divers/

Verse 2: what i got to do to show yall that im serious arnt you in the least bit curios as to how these rhymes get so Delirious/ thats easy i just incorporate the same techniques i use to get checkmate and im bout to get irate cuz most of yall just dead weight yet you claiming hip hops estate/ but such a claim is null and void cuz before you get to court you are destroyed/ i think you already know i speak of lyrics you should of known hip hop has ethics/ ya a code of conduct you never interrupt but you were raised in a business that was corrupt/ ok so you rappin hard but you fibbing so you receive no ribbon you trying to be a hero like FitzGibbon/ but you wont enter fort George so you hide in another country by a little gorge/ for every good MC theres like 10 bad ones but its the quality not the quantity in this industry theres mass immodesty/ but i can distinguish the real from the fake just like you could tell a fish from a stake/ still though it'd be easier if you were just you but you choose to be untrue/ nun the less im always real without a deal and ill never kneel/ to anyone like 300 i wont stop till this is done ya till this won/

HOOK: when i spit there are no survivors but still i ain't got but 14 subscribers and it seems that im sinking like divers/ when i spit there are no survivors but still i ain't got but 14 subscribers and it seems that im sinking like divers/

Verse 3: hes only 14 hes uneducated he enters the building and it is evacuated or at least all the haters have faded/ but the smart niggaz stay because they believe where theres a will theres a way he gets the bill but not a pay but hey/ thats reality this worlds full of brutality there is no such thing as immortality/ we all got to die and chances are most of us will be left in hell to fry and dont ask me why haven't you ever told a lie/ havnt you ever said lords name in vain or a in an extreme moment of pain/ im sorry i didnt mean for this ryme to be religious lets just try to make this indigenous / he trys to run from his destiny but he can never be free so he can run for all eternity/ or he can embrace take it at his own pace and never waste/ a moment if its fate you will know it everything else you can simply omit/

HOOK: when i spit there are no survivors but still i ain't got but 14 subscribers and it seems that im sinking like divers/ when i spit there are no survivors but still i ain't got but 14 subscribers and it seems that im sinking like divers/

Category:

Entertainment

Tags:

• jkjones
• young
• mc
• hip
• hop
• music
• zetikappa
• subscribe

[vice2vursa]

that was alright but, you should try and put more multi rhymes when you rap. the way your rhyming here is like nursery rhymes. I felt the chorus was pretty well written. its just that I'm a multi rhyming junkie, its really hard for me to respect a rap without multi's. but good never the less

[jemar200]

ya i think ive improved on my rhyme schemes since i made this i just barely record anything

[sacredshakti]

never kneel to anyone like 300. like that line. Never seen the movie, but Spartans are cool :)

keep growing.

[jemar200]

thanks man

[iluv2kikflip]

Yeah man that's better man

[jemar200]

good

[iluv2kikflip]

what a great quality microphone haha

old school JKJones is dope

[jemar200]

thnks for the feed back and ya i do like writing ill try to improve i mean i don't exactly have that much experience yet

[StillAware]

Oh I would say you need to flow to the beat and try to match your flow with the rhythm of the beat you know? If you enjoy writing, you'll naturally improve.

And the mic quality and off-rhythm raps make it hard to understand you too. I can tell you're saying a lot though lol so at least you have something to say.

[jemar200]

ight lol