How To Deal With Cold Feet Before Your Wedding

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You're having serious second thoughts about getting married. Should you try to warm up those cold feet—or use them to run as fast as you can?

To complete this How-To you will need:

Self-awareness
Feedback
A heart-to-heart with your intended
Therapy and counseling
A Prepare/Enrich questionnaire

Step 1: Ask yourself why

Ask yourself why you're getting nervous. Is it marriage in general you don't feel ready for—or a lifetime with your betrothed?

Step 2: Make a list

If it's marriage that worries you, make a list of exactly what's beginning to freak you out. If you're just a little bit nervous about the idea of never having sex with anyone else again, that's normal. If you're chafing at the mere thought of having to keep someone in the loop about your plans, that's more serious.

Step 3: Make a second list

If it's the idea of life with your betrothed that has you breaking into a cold sweat, write down the person's pros and cons.

Tip: If the cons outweigh the pros—or if one is on par with "heroin dependency" or "chronic infidelity"—call it off.

Step 4: Talk to loved ones

Ask loved ones if they think you're making a mistake. Pick people whose opinions you trust—and who are capable of being brutally honest with you.

Step 5: Talk to your intended

Talk to your intended about your fears. How he or she reacts—by being understanding and reassuring about your concerns, or bitchy and sarcastic about your maturity level—will tell you a lot.

Step 6: Consult a third party

Consult a third party, like your priest, rabbi, or spiritual counselor. Or seek out a disinterested professional, like a marital therapist. Who better to discern if you're making a mistake than someone who counsels screwed-up couples every day?

Step 7: Get premarital counseling

Ask your beloved if he or she would be willing to get premarital counseling with you. Here again, the person's level of cooperation will provide valuable insight.

Tip: Take the Prepare/Enrich questionnaire with your intended. Four separate studies found that this survey predicts with 80% to 85% accuracy which couples will have good marriages and which will find themselves in trouble.

Step 8: Postpone it

If after careful consideration you still don't know what to do, postpone the wedding until you feel completely comfortable either rescheduling it or calling it off.

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Category:

Howto & Style

Tags:

• howcast
• how-to
• cold
• feet
• wedding
• marriage

[snakeman2012]

how to deal with cold feet: buy slippers! LOL! :)

[PoorArtwork]

the guy in the video is a brain-dead no-life bum!

[yummybluespidermans]

Last. AGAIN.

[lilbitparanoid]

this chick is so self centered :)

[heygirl369]

howcast not cool when your video said sex you said it in front of my DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now i got grounded!!!!!!

[JLibZz]

pabulica honestly, there trying to help its not heartless. plus calling it off obviously happens all the time. so take your opinion somewhere else.

[pabulica]

I don't appreciate the "call it off" you guys mentioned.. that was un-proffesional & heartless

[SmartGirl27]

The guy in the video is EXACTLY like my ex! I had to wave my hand in his face to get his attention and he'd be playing with his gadgets even when we were out at a restaurant!

[underscorex5]

priest, rabbi or spiritual councilor, hey?

hm... even if I'm an agnostic?

[narutoclifford]

all bicthey lol

[gohilsan]

sht up