Gopple 2009 Game of the Week 1

Hello there sports fans, and welcome to the 2009 Kickoff weekend of Gopple. Im Paul Van Shammalamadingdong and this is the Game of the Week pre-game show.

This weeks game of the week is couldnt have been scheduled any better. The now dubbed Bitter Bowl, Shark Attack will be facing Ass Foot. Shark Attack comes in to the game with the best winning percentage in league history (.564), and the most wins in league history (64). Shark Attack has dominated this rivalry game with an overall record of 8-4 against Ass Foot. The winner of this game will find this victory being sweeter than the rest.

This week two worlds collide, rival nations. Its a primitive clash, venting years of frustrations. Bravely they hope against all hope. Theres so much at stake, it seem their seasons up against the ropes. Does the league understand? Is it east versus west, or man against man? Can any team stand-alone? In the burning heart, just about to burst. Theres a question for answers, an unquenchable thirst. In the darkest night, rising like a spire, in the burning heart the unmistakable fire.

Both owners declined comment on their game this week, so heres a classic interview from a previous year when I got a chance to sit down with both of them.

We got a chance to sit down with Owner and GM Matt Hoffmaster to get his thoughts on how team Shark Attack will do this season.

Paul: Mr. Hoffmaster, its good to see you. What are your thoughts on this weeks battle against team Ass Foot?
Hoff: Whats a battle?
Paul: Did you just say, Whats a battle?
Hoff: No, No. I said whats that rattle?
Paul: cause it sounded like battle.
Hoff: Well Ive had a cold, so
Paul: Your cold makes you pronounce your Rs as Bs?
Hoff: Yes.
Paul: Anyway, what where your some of your strategies this year for drafting your team?
Hoff: Well, instead of making sandwiches with bread, Im using Pop Tarts, and instead of chewing gum, I chew bacon.
Paul: Wow, next youll be telling me you wash your mouth out with milkshakes.
Hoff: Hey, did you go to upstairs Hollywood fantasy football school too?
Paul: Those are good ways to get your team better, but how do you feel about the vote to keep the scoring the same this season?
Hoff: I just squeeze my rage into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time. Like the day I hit the referee with a whisky bottle. Remember that, when daddy hit the referee?
Paul: uh..
Hoff: hmmm
Paul: Thank you for your time Mr. Hoffmaster. Its been what is been.
Hoff: Anytime.

Thats it for this weeks fantasy pre-game show. Im Paul Van Shammalamadingdong telling it like it is.

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Entertainment

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