jesus h. christ chapter 01
Two of my uncles that worked with my dad were called Jesus so they all called me Howie. Some Howard. And when I did something that got Mom mad, Jesus H.
Many of my teachers called me Jesus H. Christ when I told them they were wrong.
I like my name so I told them often they were wrong. They were wrong often enough.
Egyptians were so bloody traditional and my Family was worse.
"Jesus H. Wash your hands properly. Look at this towel. Did you use any soap."
I didn't say anything. It was Dad. He was so often in and out of his office and in the shop helping get a shipment of tables and chairs ready for transport to half the cities in Egypt. He was so preoccupied all the time that he seldom saw who his children were. And seldom thought of the soap.
"How was your day at school, Howie."
"Good Dad. I told our Torah teacher he was wrong and he threw me out of class so he could finish brain washing the other kids that are too stupid not to believe him if he tells them."
"Jesus H. We send you to a private Jewish school and you talk like a Gentile."
"I got an 'A' on my math test."
"That's good James."
"Pass the goat cheese."
Mom liked to tell us we weren't just special because we were Jewish but we had a direct family tree to King David. And I was in line for the throne. Or I could take over Dad's business.
"King David was a tyrant and a murderer. Most of our ancestors where sheep herders or sheepherder slaves. King Solomon went through his fame having sex with hundreds of women. Everyone trying to see who can make the most descendents to take over the world from some other bunch of monkies that if you believe the bloody Torah, don't even exist."
"Jesus H. Go to you room."
Mom thought it was part of her job to show me her dedication to the laws of our ancestors.
Eight out of ten people I knew didn't even know King David was a topic. In Egypt they did as the Egyptians.
I was being unruly in school one day and the teacher sent me out of the tent to chill under a tree for a moment.
And just my luck, the high priest of the school happened to come out of his office and walked right up to me with his clothing of authority. Begging me to defy him.
"Jesus is my name, my friends call me Howie."
"Why aren't you in class."
"The teacher wanted me to relax and not interrupt."
"You go in and apologize."
"No."
"Too my tent, young man."
He took the whip off the wall and put it on his desk. Sat behind his desk and made the best live portrait of authority as his limited talent would allow.
"Bla bla bla."
Then he sent for my mother. And she came, looking a little nervous. But she was with her angel and she glowed and was proud that her son was a stubborn bastard.
"Whip him, if you must, you won't change his mind if he has made it up."
Unless you can show me why I should let you belittle me as if my being a child gives you authority over me.
The High Priest sent for my teacher and attempted to plot against me to do his will.
But the teacher couldn't see the point in torturing me when all he had intended was that I spend a few moments of reflection so I could relax and conduct myself moderately in class.
So it was three against one and the old priest threw up his hands and said.
"Get out. All of you. Jesus, I'm watching you."
"Watch closely, dead camel flogger, and learn something."
read by john rah
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show me you genitalsby skatermonkeyboy5,030,990 views
This dude in the video has not visited for 2 years, cause Jesus stuck him DEAD
hemet92544 10 months ago
Oh dude, you make me thankful that my forebears were mischlings / marranos. Peace out.
peachygotoit 3 years ago
haha beachbum your an idiot!!!!!!! you spelled genitals wrong!
mrPYR0 3 years ago
Jesus was a nigger
Fuzzy192006 3 years ago
AAMIR!!
manguy92 3 years ago
hahahahahah this was the first thing that came up when i looked up Show me your gentiles btw its a funny song im not a perv
Beachbum9000 3 years ago
sad for those who dont believe in christ... and worst is what awaits them when their life enters that of the spiritual realm. THERE ARE ONLY 2 PLACES TO GO WHEN WE ARE GONE FROM THIS PHYSICAL EARTH- HEAVEN OR HELL --ITS YOU'R CHOICE. OH YEAH, JESUS, GOD AND THE HOLY SPIRIT TRULY EXIST, I WOULD'NT SAY SO IF I DID'NT EXPERIENCE GOD'S LOVE ALL MY LIFE.
eclectic23 3 years ago
jesusssss doesn'tttttt exsistttttt
chucknorris887 3 years ago
lol jesus is just some story that a drunk man made
crazymonkey123345 3 years ago
JESUS CHRIST is the
RESURRECTION of the dead to
LIFE by the
WAY of the
TRUTH.
TheTempleOfTruth 3 years ago