Sperm Donation
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Uploader Comments (Caliban018)
All Comments (28)
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Just so you know, this is a pretty good option. I was conceived myself and although my dad isn't my "biological father" he still raised me and taught me what he knows, and that's what counts, so I love him very much. He is my Dad, my bio father is not, but just a bio father. Basically you don't have to be technically related to be part of the family. And it may sound a bit crude but I favor him more then my mom...
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if i were in your situation, i would prefer adoption. if my wife still wanted donor sperm, i would ask her how she would feel if she was infertile and i had a baby with a mistress, brought it home and told her to raise it as her own.
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i absolutely empathize with your feelings regarding using donor sperm.
i have read a lot of material about how women want the best genes for their children. women will choose sperm based on the height, looks, built of the donor and an infertile husband will definitely be thinking about how he is a superior male...he would be comparing himself to him. its so intimidating to think about this.
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is it down right wrong.
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I was conceived the old fashioned way by two married people in their 30s in the 1970s. I cannot for the life of me wrap my mind around what it would be like to be the offspring of a sperm donor. I have always taken for granted having a biological mother and father and all the character building nuclear family experiences that shaped me.
You see, you are not the only one who wrestles with these deep and important issues of family, biological origin, and personal identity.
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@bluwakpa meet her/his bio dad...
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My dad would sometimes take 2-3 day business trips, and when this happened life in our household went into weekend mode no matter if it was a weekend or not (my mom being the pushover parent). I like to think this is what it must be like to be the offspring of a sperm donor reared by a single mother - youth as a permanent summer vacation. But maybe I'm wrong.
buddyboy75 1 year ago
@buddyboy75 somehow I do not think the business trip is much of a parallel. Though the genetic material may be coming from an absent third party, the intention here would be to have two actively involved parents. As for the single parent, again, the parallel is a bit different when the parenting strategies would have to encompass a scenario when no other parent is "coming back".
Caliban018 1 year ago
Is there an update? I wonder how things panned out? I guess ur still in the planning stages? Just my opinion: I think the child should have the option to know and meet her/his child. I think the child would prob be very angry at the two of u if that option was off the table later in life. To a lesser extent, I think the donor ought to have that option as well. Who knows, maybe u'll find the strength and curiosity urself to get to know him? Thanks for posting!
bluwakpa 1 year ago
@bluwakpa Nothing has panned out yet. During our process, my sperm was viable on the day of the IVF proceedure, so we didn't need the donor option. If we do go down this route, I am not entirely sure how to handle this issue. Most likely we'd set things up that we have info on the donor so that the child could follow up later. But I do not think donors ought to have the right to contact on their own initiatives.
Caliban018 1 year ago
In my relationship my partner just does not talk about his feelings. The typical man that he is it makes me feel very alone in my pain and emotions about this issue in our lives. Hearing your honesty and lack of shame about your feelings is so eye opening and watching this video with my partner allowed him to talk to me for the first time about how my infertility has effected him and how he feels about it. Thank you so very much.
PCOStherealdeal 2 years ago
Communication around this is so difficult. If I've played any small role in fostering this between you and your partner, I am grateful for the opportunity. Be mindful of the fact that labeling his reluctance to share as "typical male" is probably unhelpful. Just recognize that this is very hard to talk about and goes the the very core of human identity. My best wishes to you both on this very difficult journey.
Caliban018 2 years ago