BEER

Take hydrogen and oxygen and throw in some hops
Pour it into bottles and leave it till it pops
Chill it in the fridge then pour it down your neck
Its called beer and it turns you into a total wreck

Chorus
Oh beer is wonderful, beer is great
Drink it by the bottle, neck it by the crate
Drink it in the ritz or in a sawdust saloon
Beers the only reason i get up .. Every afternoon

Twenty-four hours in a day twenty-four beers in a case
Coincidence? I dont think so, it just sets the pace
Some beer is weak as water, some beer is really strong
But you're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on

In Italy the beers is a joke, so easy to dismiss
The Aussies know their beer is crap, they even call it piss
The Belgiums make good beer, some of which is quite sublime
But in American they serve Bud cold, so you can tell it from urine

I like a beer when its hot, I like a beer when its cold
Beer improves my balance, beer gives me something to hold
Everybody has their beliefs and should hold them very dear
Me? I believe. I'll have another beer




BEER TROUBLESHOOTING
________________________________________
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colourful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth

Category:

Music

Tags:

• beer
• folkestone
• more beer

[Tadek59]

I like this song and i like beer !

Fantastic Song !

Brilliant !

5*****

Bravo Mikee !

[monello198]

thank you TADEK MY FRIEND..

THANK YOU..

;-}~

[jgottlied]

Laughing my arse off!! Great song and great channel.

[monello198]

thanks mate...

we should have been "friends" before...

have a beer on me...

send the tab to

Monello c/o Tim...

mikee

;-}~

[doghousedave]

Great song,think I will have a Retox this weekend

[monello198]

hi Dave..

sorry missed your comment when you posted it ..

but...

never too late for a beer

mikee

;-}~

[wehatenaynatenay]

Poor sod

[Zomg16]

Beer ftw! :>

[monello198]

i am not an aloholic...

i'm just a drunk..

i can't aford to be an alcoholic