The Ballad of Carpenter Joe

Bosko and Honey--Join the Safari--Contest Entry by Jeff Weisfeld. Here are "The Ballad of Carpenter Joe" lyrics, Alex:

I was just a happy carpenter. I made things out of wood.
The test of time is a friend of mine, cause I built things really good.
The Governor once hired me at his vacation home.
I measure twice before I cut, and I like to work alone.
Oh, dont you know, thats Carpenter Joe.

Chorus: Measure twice, cut once, was Joes advice.
Its the carpenters golden rule.

That bride of mine, when I got home, shed greet me at the door.
The kindest girl on Gods sweet earth is my dear Elenore.
Shes the earth beneath me, shes my load-bearing wall.
Shes gorgeous, and she stands just shy of six foot tall.
Oh, oh. Life was good for Joe.

Just like concrete tends to crumble and mortar turns to dust,
The shiny steel of our true love, well it gave way to rust.
I begged her not to leave me: Please dont go down south.
But she just spit out our marriage, like a bug flew in her mouth.
Oh, oh. Things turned bad for Joe.

I treasured all the moments, and I measured all the cost.
A paradise gets ugly when a paradise gets lost.
As I watched her tiny tail lights disappearing through the trees,
The answer it just hit me like the cool autumn breeze.
Oh, oh. Somethings up with Joe.

Chorus: Measure twice, cut once, was Joes advice.
Its a carpenters golden rule.

Now my mind was filled with craziness, I summoned my old ghosts.
I remembered my psychiatrist and all the stuff he diagnosed. There was
This, that, ratatatat, and you ought to take these pills, but
I had no health insurance. I could barely pay my bills.
Oh, oh. There aint no pills for Joe.

The whispers started blowin from those hypocrites in town.
The leaves from the trees were swirling toward the ground.
One potato, two potato, three potato, four.
Those two-faced, cheatin whisperers wont whisper any more.
Oh, oh. Say it isnt so, not Carpenter Joe.

The last one was a broker who broke everything she touched.
A suitcase full of money, her nicotine fingers clutched.
The state police found half of her after seven months.
She got what she always wished for, she was in two places at once.
Oh, nobody knows, just what became of Joe (and his Silverado).

Chorus:Measure twice, cut once, was Joe's advice.
And you make things straight and true
Measure twice, cut once, was his advice
Its the carpenters golden rule.
Its the carpenters golden rule.

Category:

Music

Tags:

• boskohoney
• jointhesafari
• Jeff Weisfeld
• Measure Twice Cut Once
• Ballad of Carpenter Joe
• Ukulele
• Murder Ballads

[DermitderUkulele]

Sounds like rooted in good old tradition. It's my US favorite in the contest. Are the lyrics somewhere to read?

[tortugablue]

Thanks, Professor. I just posted the lyrics in the description space to the right. I think your "Alexander's Lullaby" is a very beautiful song!

[mercedezzz]

Very nice!

[lgomez222]

Great job on this one...excellent lyrics..I've watched this a bunch of times!

Great song!!!!!

[mugambismonkey]

Hey Jeff, this is an awesome tune!! Morbid and funny... I laughed a lot at "She got what she always wished for, she was in two places at once." Wonderful song. I'm glad you subbed me and I found your channel!

Cheers,

Dirk

[SimplyScooby]

Great In All Aspects! Five Stars Amigo!

[krabbers]

you had me with the door bell

superb

[shelleyrickey]

Very happy to see that my favorite american entry in the Ukulele Safari Video Contest made it to the second round. Good luck Jeff!

[DermitderUkulele]

What a bad professor I am! Didn't click more infos... Thanks.

[waitswatcher]

great song, great hat!

what else can you ask for ... :-)

cheers, ww