Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

Everything you Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html

The narcissistic mother is a control freak and does not easily relinquish good and reliable sources of "narcissistic supply" (admiration, adulation, attention of any kind). It is the role of her children to replenish this supply, the children owe it to her. To make sure that the child does not develop boundaries, and does not become independent, or autonomous, the narcissistic parent micromanages the child's life and encourages dependent and infantile behaviors in her offspring.

Such a parent bribes the child (by offering free lodging or financial support or "help" with daily tasks) or emotionally blackmails the child (by constantly demanding help and imposing chores, claiming to be ill or disabled) or even threatens the child (for instance: to disinherit her if she does not comply with the parent's wishes). The narcissistic mother also does her best to scare away anyone who may upset this symbiotic relationship or otherwise threaten the delicate, unspoken contract. She sabotages any budding relationship her child develops with lies, deceit, and scorn.

(From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 2 DVDs with 12 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html)

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• narcissist
• mother
• daughter
• parent
• child
• childhood
• individuation
• boundaries
• personal autonomy
• control freak
• family
• emotional blackmail
• parenting
• relationships
• adulthood

[xxxXGuNzXxxx]

I can't take it anymore. I'm not allowed to leave the house or have any friends at all. No matter what, i'm wrong, I am an adult. by the way.

[TRU2myHEART]

Thanks for explaining this it helps alot. It makes alot of sense now.

[11940ful]

With me it was a combination of narcissism and jealousy...She could not stand me moving on with my life, she couldn't stand ppl thinking i'm nice, when she did not need me anymore it's like i was free to go... She treats me like nothing and turns around and buy me a purse, i was not the golden child but i was the only one that had birthdays celebration...I just don't get it! I was the cause of every problem in her life, she hated me bcuz i look like my father and as i grew up it's something else

[paragshah2112]

i love how you explain everything. its so crystal clear. 

[djx1993]

Daughter of Narcissus: A family's struggle to survive their mother's

narcissistic personality disorder : this is the site ; dynastypress.co.uk/books-daugh­ter.html

[mikhail1549]

Thank you for your information. I wish that you would give information on how a narcissistic mother's husband (although a good father) can stand by silently and not know or understand and let this happen.

[alliecollier619]

My mother over protected me. More as a punishment I feel. I felt like Cinderella, and eventually I sought out a prince to rescue me. I did everything to please my mother; who was also a gambling addict. I am a codependent for sure and I am in therapy and go to al anon. I have separated myself from my ex spouse and my mom has passed away. I have noticed that old boyfriends are have narcissistic traits as well. Those traits have become very undesirable to me!

[TheAfroQween]

@changingmyself Shameful...much love to you my dearheart- it's a constant struggle, I cut mine off for good.

[changingmyself]

@TheAfroQween My mom does that same exact thing.

[Hawaiiansky11]

Also, it's no wonder that as long as someone said, "I love you," to me, I believed I had to forgive them treating me badly / cheating / being abusive, etc... My mother taught me that. (grew up believing love = pain / posession / owing someone something)

[Hawaiiansky11]

I had always felt like my mother 'enjoyed' my failures - so she could 'swoop in' and make things better (expect me to be dependent on her and her alone).

Also, she seemed pi**ed that I was a daddy's girl...She was supposed to be my favorite! And for a loooonng time, it has felt like she would only do nice things / give gifts so that I owed her...many times, she would remind me that she bought me something if I dared stand up to her / ask for respect. Gifts = strings.

[Hawaiiansky11]

@xxxXGuNzXxxx - Cut off contact.