ACROSS THE GLOBE, A DESPERATE SEARCH
FOR INDIVIDUALS WHO CAN ACCURATELY
ALIGN, TIME, AND TRANSCRIBE WHAT IS SAID
IN TELEVISION AND THE MOVIES TO
BENEFIT THOSE IN NEED HAS BROUGHT US
TO THE ONLY CAPTIONING REALM ON EARTH
WHERE A HALLOWED HANDFUL OF EDITORS,
IN THEIR CONSTANT QUEST FOR PERFECTION
AND EXCELLENCE, CAN DO NO WRONG.
THE PLACE: LOS ANGELES. THE TIME: PRESENT
DAY. THE POWERHOUSE...THE CAPTIONEERS.
Song by Christopher Cardenas:
A great artist who has produced
"Mishap and Circumstance" CD,
Time's Up by "61 Seconds" (LP) 1998)
Who We Are and How We Ought To Be (LP) 2000.
Christopher Cardenas, with over 25 years experience
playing everything from Jazz to Punk.
is also a Vocalist with a 4 octave range
who teaches music in Las Vages when
not on the road.
The Show CAPTIONEERS is like,
The Office, but they don't sell paper here!
They transcribe TV and movies for the hearing impaired,
creating files broadcast as subtitles to viewers at home!
Picture five desks, left to right, positioned with the backs
of their computer monitors toward the screen.
The stations are marked with nameplates resting
atop the monitors, facing us. From left to right,
the nameplates read: Ubaldo (never present until
the December 31 episode--though Tanksley,
from another shift, occasionally uses his desk),
Drinda, Gurmit, Eather, and Chains. Drinda
looks like a distant relative of Marlo Thomas,
Gurmit looks a bit like PeeWee Herman,
Eather reminds people of Pamela Anderson
(with an insatiable appetite), and Chains
(the man in charge), while bearing close
resemblance to Mr. T, affects a Tony Sinclair
British accent. Hanging from the ceiling in an
upside down casket is BatCat ("Bye-Bye, Chicken Pie!"),
the resident Production Assistant.
This half-cat/half-bat's job is to answer the wall
phone and the door to receive tapes and DVDs from
post-productions houses (through a door located
behind Ubaldo's desk); to fetch coffee for Drinda,
Gurmit, Ether, and Chains (Chains drinks coffee out
of a martini glass instead of a coffee mug), and to
announce and/or occasionally comment on both what the
characters say and shown on the Magic Screen, a drop
down space on the wall behind them which displays bits
of programs, movies, and pop culture (including final
moves in Scrabble games they play and Urban Dictionary
Word of the Day). Wall space is also dedicated to a
clock which showns the progression of hours midnight
to 8:00 a.m. (note: one hour on the clock = 1/2 minute
of the episode). Next to the clock on the wall, there
is a light switch, a small First Aid kit, a wall phone,
and a window through which we see the night sky, which
progressively heads toward sunrise as the night progresses.
Next to the clock and the window, there is a poster of Crying
Girl from American Idol which, they will discover, cries real
tears in response to discouragement, distress, and
depression on any of the Captioneers' parts. The room
features Halloween wallpaper, which mysteriously changes
each episode, and Halloween decorations which they have been
too lazy to take down (since the person responsible to do so
left The Captioneers in November). (Note: eventually the Halloween
decorations will be changed out for Christmas decor.) As a bonus,
each short episode will be closed-captioned but the captions won't
be what the crew says. Rather, the captions will read
kind of like those humorous little pop-up comments they do on
dating shows or music vids, et al, so the omniscient caption
editor can also comment on what the other caption editors are
commenting about in text form. CAPTIONEERS is fresh from the
perspective that not too many people know how funny caption
editors get, working on TV shows and movies eight hours a day,
five days a week, with a new show each day, year in and year out.
Enjoy their witty banter while BatCat fetches you a cup of coffee!
Sit back, relax, and enjoy!
NOTE: ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THESE CHARACTERS AND ANY CAPTION
EDITORS (DEAD OR ALIVE) OR ANY EXISTING CAPTIONING COMPANY
IN THE WORLD IS STRICTLY COINCIDENTAL, SO DON'T BE PARANOID.
copyright all rights reserved 2009 contact
Captioneers, Christopher Cardenas, It's Over, CAPTIONEERS, the Pitch,
copyright 2009
CAPTIONEERS : the Pitch copyright 2009
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Hello Captioneers! Thank you for all that you do. I am hearinf impaired, without captioning I would not even own a TV. I would be cut off the the happenings of the world. Thank you! I do have a comment about the video though. I am glad I read the little bio you provided because I thought the video was to promote the book. Being hearing impaired I watched the video and enjoyed reminiscing but had no idea there was music in the background. You need to caption the lyrics.
sandilou2U 10 months ago
you took the time to
be so beautiful
very special
backwoodsgps 1 year ago