On a 'need to know' basis...

And we just don't need to know, right? Or not? Just some thoughts on knowing some of the harder issues life might throw at us.

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• child
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[qwexas]

You've noticed it too! I think a lot of times it's emotional economics. I do it sometimes, but I'm aware of it. For example, the earthquake in Japan. They need it to be known so others can help them rebuild. But I don't need to know, so I don't pay attention. What do I gain by grieving for people across the ocean? I'll compare it to money. I would pay for a car, on the condition that I could drive it. But I wouldn't buy one for a stranger, unless I was rich. Same goes for emotional investment.

[PixieEleven]

@qwexas I agree! If only so many more people could live as consciously. I have no problem with choosing to have boundaries around your emotional investments, like you said, for 'economical' reasons. But the arbitrariness off many people's emotional cut-off 'line' often bewilders and frustrates me. Also perhaps many of us are 'poorer' with emotional resources, or have them 'spent' for us. But I do think conscious living is the key.

[SoyLatte923]

I really liked this video.. and I totally agree about people not wanting to know. I struggle with telling people about my issues all the time.

[PixieEleven]

@SoyLatte923 It feels like a catch 22. Like the only way out, people will tell you, is to get the whatever-it-is out. To talk about it. To express yourself. To be heard. To get it outside of you, so you no longer have to bear the burden that isn't yours to bear. But then no one wants to hear it. The cover their ears and turn away. They punish you for speaking the truth, with isolation and ridicule. Hang in there babe. There ARE people in this world who are different than that. love xxPix

[kayteeee99]

oh pixie. *huge enormous hugs* love katie

p.s. sorry i have no wise advice or response or anything :-( but you will always have my support xx

[PixieEleven]

@kayteeee99 hugs back sweetie! xxx

[Watisagoodusername]

<3<3xoxo

[hi771lrt]

I experience 'naivete' vicariously! I think abuse hits you with a double burden, not only do you carry the burden that it happened to you, but also the knowledge that it can be happening to others, and there are all these 'light' and 'naive' people wandering around, oblivious, confusing things (and me) with their pretty mind pictures of nothing possibly being wrong. hehe! :-)

[hi771lrt]

OMG I can't beleive that Pyschaitrist said that to you. I think the only people who say, 'People don't need to know about your child abuse, you don't need to air your dirty laundry.' is people who are selfish, have no spectrum of empathy. By the way HOW is it *your* dirty laundry, your laundry was perfectly clean until a perpetrator stained it!?!?! Ugh! The rich get richer, the lucky protect their bliss of good fortune, ignorant bliss!...Obviously it didn't happen to her, huh? :-7 xoxo :-D

[qwexas]

@PixieEleven People will say telling others about your concerns is the best way to cope: They will also say that bullying and other forms of violence are produced by low self-esteem, someone who's not thin can't have an eating disorder, sexual orientation is a result of childhood abuse, a person who appears nice and does good deeds would never hurt someone, spanking children actually helps, and until a few centuries ago, that phlegm caused depression & wandering uterus caused hysteria. People…

[qwexas]

@PixieEleven When someone says something is too horrible to think about, they probably have hardly any resources to spare. Refusing to think about something won't make it go away. If something is beyond my control, and far enough away it won't affect me, I acknowledge its reality but don't let it get me down. But a friend in need is an opportunity to help! My use of economic vocabulary may sound chilling to some, but a friend who isn't generous seems far worse in my opinion.

[MichaelPaoli]

Excellent thought/discussion provoking video.

Not everyone's necessarily up for knowing anything and everything.

Unpleasant as it might be, I generally think shedding light on it is more likely to make things better - things typically don't get better left in the dark, ignored and/or denied. And I don't mean gratuitously dragging out and parading horrors about. But neither should they be unnecessarily and inappropriately hidden, denied, or ignored.

[mentalhealthhelpUK]

@PixieEleven We feel lucky to have 'met' you too, PIx, and connecting with you is a big reason why YT is such a big part of our lives. It would totally make our decade if we one day ever met you in person!

[AnaGirlEmpath]

@Pixie:

Thank you! It's true. It makes people uncomfortable. 'You are so negative,' they say. It hurts because I always strive to focus on the positive. This does NOT mitigate the suffering I face, however! It is sad when you can see by someone's body language or hear in their tone that they really DON'T want to know, but feel *obligated* to listen. I have to fight the urge to shut down altogether when I sense this aversion. I am so glad you spoke about this issue!