Vent // Am I untouchable?

I think there are some things that I really need to get off of my chest.... I heard this song and it really reminded me of myself.
Ever since I was tiny, I have never had the best relationship with my parents, maybe it was because I felt left out when my sisters came along? Maybe it was because I was practically raised by my grandmother who was so delusional because of the alzheimers and the dementia that she now has to be held under a section so that she cant harm herself or anyone else? I don't know, I just know that my mother has never been afraid of disciplining me for small things that children do and then turning it back on me and telling me that I am a horrible person for confronting her about the abuse. I know that my dad has always spent all of his free time getting drunk and spending all our money instead of spending time with his family. And the time that he did spend with us consisted of him fighting with my mum, violently smashing the house to pieces while I cowered in the corner, or just simply telling me that I will never be worth a thing. Consequently, I have always found it very hard to make friends as I do not really trust anyone and I have always been alone, as I was bullied something harsh and treated as if I was some sort of alien. In the past I often wondered if anyone would care if I died or ran away and I often resorted to self harm. Things are much better now because I have found the love of my life and have moved in with his family who really care for me. I rarely see my family apart from weekends now, which I find much easier to manage, although my mother still doubts me and makes me feel like an ant if I try to give her any advice on my favourite subject of dog training or art. Whereas I am always told by my parents that one of my sisters is the perfect daughter and the other is given special treatment and signed up for modelling agencies and acting school.

I guess I really made this video because of something that a good friend of mine said to me: he said that for someone who has been treated like utter crap, I am a kind and humble person who never complains and always sees the best in everyone....... But I am not. If I get too close to someone then I pick out faults in them and anything they do, especially my boyfriend who has been nothing but kind and loving towards me since the day we met. I am a horrible person for acting like my parents and I want to apologise to anyone that I might have ever hurt on here because believe me, I know how it feels.

Here are the people that each character represents:

Rue: me
Mytho: father
Renge: mother
Tamaki: boyfriend
Ahiru and Blonde girl (name escapes me): sisters

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[eazybreeze]

And if you ever need a friend to talk to or a shoulder to lean on please feel free to talk to me. It'd be the least I can to return the priceless and great friendship you've shown me through the years.

-Brionna

[hamsters5]

@eazybreeze Thankyou Bri :) I have always seen you as one of my best friends on Youtube. Thankyou so much for your kind words and your support. ^_^

[eazybreeze]

Hi Emma I'm really not sure how to word this I've never been good at expressing myself but I'll do my best. First of all you are an awesome, sweet person & one of the nicest people I've ever met through the youtube community, & if you have any doubts in your character because of your family than I'm obligated to tell you how wrong that judgement is. & if you're family can't appreciate you than thats their loss. I'm so glad though that you've found someone who loves & treats you like you deserve.