RAPTURE (Weather permitting)

For the devotees awaiting Rapture, I think that Sunday will be the most interesting day of their lives. more than the Saturday 'penciled in' for the event.

If they find themselves in Heaven, it will be a day of excitement, checking out the facilities, and reflecting upon whether the place meets their expectations or not.

They will have the opportunity to make new friends, from all over the world, some of whom may not share their views and opinions.

By Monday afternoon, small groups and cliques will have formed. Many will be lamenting God's choice to let "the idiots" in whilst allowing other 'more deserving' cases to suffer below.

Around lunchtime, Tuesday, there will be a heated debate about toilet facilities. "It is not", the ladies will state, "a 'privilege' of Heaven to pee on the floor and leave the toilet seat up".

Wednesday will most likely be a quiet day of contemplation - how to persuade God to send "those idiots" back where they belong, and a sense among the males that Heaven has dealt them something of a 'poor hand'. There will be talk of Islam, and those virgins that the 'Bin Laden' might be enjoying. "After all", a philosopher will comment..."if this unlikely scenario has turned out to be true, what the heck else is?".

Thursday will be spent on the internet, trying to circumvent the 'family' settings and firewall.

A poster will appear next to the toilets, regarding use and cleanliness, on Friday morning. The first of many such 'guidelines'.

As the first week draws to a close a vote will be taken about who should lead. God will not appear to the masses, but can be reached through these 'chosen leaders'. He will require certain sacrifices, of course (Heaven is not a charity). Chores such as cleaning the toilets. The 'leaders' will be too busy and important to undertake such tasks, having more important things to do, regarding Godly stuff, and organising "fact-finding" tours.

Of course, if Saturday is a washout, and rapture does not occur, then Sunday will be day of quite reflection at home, in front of the TV. A programme will explain the error, and predict a new deadline.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• rapture
• end
• of
• the
• world
• armageddon
• earthquakes
• prediction
• 2012

[Raycheetah]

LOL!

NIce ta seeya back. =^[.]^=

[legion0101]

maybe today we are seeing the resurrection of FOC?

[ChristianArmorOfGod]

suppose to have started at 5pm my time it's 6:35, looks like his daddy is satan not Jesus.

[suzettespencer]

Holy turd, you are back! Genuinely missed you. Hoped for your return.

[toeg1]

Excellent!!

I think it would be hilarious for all these raptured folks to see Osama, a newbie as well, putzing around in a golf cart near the gates asking the others if they want to join him in a round of heavenly golf.

[askmeif]

Wow, nice to hear from you again : )

[Tiwaking]

What a philosophers doing in heaven? Heaven is no place for Philosophy!

[rytis1]

OMG! You are not dead!!?? Welcome back! Miss you!

[gibbo675]

Good to hear your slightly sarcy tones again!

[webozzy21]

Great to have you back Flask!