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DNA Evidence Frees Black Man Convicted Of Bear Attack

TheOnion TheOnion·844 videos
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Uploaded on Mar 31, 2009

Georgia police were so confident Marshall was the man who killed young Janet Kelly in a state bear preserve, they didn't investigate other suspects.

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Top Comments

  • bayougrande

    I don't care about DNA tests. He is BLACK, and he DID IT.

    · 17

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  • charlemagne111027

    "Saliva, tufts of FUR found at crime scene did not match Marshall's DNA" "Even though employees had been adviced against entering due to a rash of bear attacks at the time" "Tracks led to cave where police say Marshall may have spent winters" 'The last photograph she took. A self portrait of her and two bear cubs"

    And you still thought this was a legitimate news story?

    · 5

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    in reply to SharkPredator2 (Show the comment)

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  • Symos

    Title of the vid ruins the joke.

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  • MarbleDemo

    I can't believe how many Idiots think The Onion reports real News! The Onion used to be funny, now its crap what happened was it the hipsters that ruined it?

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  • Lawful Gray

    Did they even once consider it could be a BLACK bear that mauled her? They should know better than to rule out a suspect based on species, and could easily be any species as long as they are dark enough!

    ·

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  • mrsrectalbane

    the photo with the babies and the mom bear behind her are fucking priceless hahahaha

    ·

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  • Zimbabwe Zinch

    *GASP*

    A dick on the internet? NO! NEVER!

    ·

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    in reply to O'Connor Matthews (Show the comment)
  • O'Connor Matthews

    Sorry man, but you're a bit of a dick.

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    in reply to Zimbabwe Zinch (Show the comment)
  • thepizzagaming41

    It feels like...... EDUCATION!!!!!!!!!!

    ·

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    in reply to babaganuche7 (Show the comment)
  • babaganuche7

    you're* how does it feel?

    ·

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    in reply to thepizzagaming41 (Show the comment)
  • thepizzagaming41

    1. He corrected what you said.

    2. You called him a grammar nazi.

    3. Your the bad guy.

    4. BITCH IM PREGNANT!

    5. YOUR THE FATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ·

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    in reply to Bluntbows (Show the comment)
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