a message to everyone

please watch.. if something like suicide crosses ur mind, contact a loved one and tell them. do not be afraid. if u feel you have no loves ones, go to a dr or and organisation like beyond blue - suicide is not the answer, as i said in the video like a million times,,]

life is a gift, try and make it an amazing gift

• Category

  Music

[Ibby Jennette]

I am so sorry for her... just one thing form me tho i have no 1 to tlk to . I dnt know how to tlk. Iv attempted suicide 4 times now it never works ... im thinking really hard about doing it agin tho.. im so scared

[ohsweetcreature]

I just wanted to share... for myself. I wrote this out and put them in order so that you can read... and maybe come out with something, anything. Thank you.

[ohsweetcreature]

Suicide is real. Depression is real. Sometimes being there for someone isn't enough to keep them from wanting to leave this world... I had a niece who I was very close to for many years, we were not far apart in age and maybe that was what led us into forming a lifetime of friendship. She was the only person who truly knew me and I'm not easy to figure out or truly get to know

[ohsweetcreature]

We were very unlike each other but I sense that we were alike in our cores having certain values in life, which is why I felt that I can share myself with her. I found out on Tuesday that she had hung herself in her apartment through her friend. I didn't want to believe her... but it was true. I ended up calling the medical examiner's office to find out the details of her suicide and even though she confirmed it I wanted to believe that it was all made up to give us a scare

[ohsweetcreature]

. I ended up driving up to Milwaukee from Chicago with her dad to make funeral arrangements on Thursday. We went back yesterday to see her before her cremation... I thought that I didn't have any tears left as I've been physically and emotionally drained the past days, but that didn't stop me from crying. She just lay there as though she was sleeping. She was cold to the touch... her dad cried out for her to wake up. But she didn't and couldn't.

[ohsweetcreature]

We're going back Monday to pick her ashes up and bring her to Chicago and free her at last. Sunny's suffered depression as long as I can remember... she'd go in and out over the years and we've talked about this often. And I'd let her know that she's not alone... that sometimes I share her sadness too, not the exact kind as I am not her and we all have different kinds of sadness. But she knew that there's good things in life that she can look forward to.

[ohsweetcreature]

She had a lot going on in her head and heart. She missed her mom who is in Korea and haven't seen in 14 years... her dad was diagnosed with pharyngeal cancer a few years ago and she saw him through treatments over the years. She'd come down from Milwaukee to Chicago to assist him with hospital visits and translate for him as he wasn't fluent in English. She's had relationships over the years that she couldn't control that were not healthy for her...

[ohsweetcreature]

I can't say whether all of these factors as well as other things led her to take her own life or the fact that she dealt with depression made her incapable of dealing with these issues. She's left me to take care of her dad... I guess that's what she wants to leave me with for not seeking help for her. It wasn't enough for her to feel loved because when she was depressed nothing really mattered and nothing felt real or true.

[ohsweetcreature]

I felt very sad and depressed over her leaving... but I don't anymore because I have to be strong for us all and life is precious. I wish we lived in a world where kindness and integrity was the norm, but we don't. Yet, I realize that we're not completing alone in this, there is goodness and integrity... this world isn't free of them. I want to live my life with passion in everything I do and not take things for granted.

[ohsweetcreature]

I always felt this to be true but I feel this even more so now. I'm a private person for the most part... but I felt the need to share. There's so much more I want to say but it's hard to paint an accurate picture for you all to see and grasp. I wanted to share this because it's real. Depression doesn't always go away... environmental factors affect one's depression but it's a disease that needs to be looked at closer.