All About Dear Old Uncle Holland

Last night I was a stranger in a foreign land; a bandit with a steak knife tried to steal my hand, and sell it on the market for a buck a pound. All I did was laugh and start to look around until I found a rock shaped like a loaf of bread and calmly placed it deep inside the bandit's head. The bandit dropped his knife like it was molten lead and went to prance and spin next to the flower bed.

Tonight I am a pirate on a cargo ship with no idea who brought me on this pointless trip. A sailsman once had asked me if I needed sales; I curled up all my fingers and I broke his lip.

A month ago I ate a turkey and a chair while sleeping in the warm arms of a grizzly bear who spoke to me in riddles with a melted tire. I think he said some crap about a forest fire

Two weeks, a day, second and a year ago, I lost a tennis match to a drunk Eskimo while being cheered on by some wild geese and a foreign moose. I don't know why there was a goose.

I was born on a safari in the Philippines where it rained so hard the gravel turned a bluish green like melted dreams of blue and green things.

Category:

Music

Tags:

• Uncle
• Holland's
• Epic
• Marlon
• Barnes
• DirtyPiGGuin
• 17
• It's
• all
• nonsense

[ayitsrae]

haha make more.

[MarlonOwnsYourCake]

that I'll do...as soon as I learn how to edit videos.

[bingotheraccoon]

Did you write this yourself? I LIKE IT!

[MarlonOwnsYourCake]

yes, yes I did

[MarlonOwnsYourCake]

you fail at guitar

[ollie1351]

This s hit is nested y'all.

[Tishanna03]

nice :)

[italllies]

Nice dude

i think you should listen to john frusciante - control. {one of my favorite songs}

you might like it mang.

[ifeeltoast]

....Cool.

[shoutitot]

boy you are fine!

[kittydreamz86]

The guy who said you fail at guitar is a Jerk!