Trauma Always Leaves a SCAR.

**It didn't even cross my mind that this audio might be something anyone would want to use, but I guess it is! haha. I made it MYSELF and I am perfectly fine with you using it, but I would really appreciate credit because it took me forever to pitch it right and blend it and find both of the audios x)**
In short, 2011 was the best year of my life.
But also the worst. I lost huge opportunities that I can never get back. I lived through so many disappointments and felt down in the gutter half the time. I lost a show season with a horse I had been riding for over a year who gave me so much to work for. I lost a horse who I never thought I could ride who took me up to heights unimagineable until now. I lost a horse who could have moved me into that unimagineable height at SHOWS, one who would have ripped my arms out but taught me how to ride.
But I gained new knowledge, new understanding of life.
I think I finally understand why these horses had to leave, why life had to change. I still don't believe I even deserved the chances they did give me, even if I was unable to act on the opportunities. But I think they were here to teach me that I'm more than I ever thought I was. I can't tell you what it's like to write yourself off, if you haven't already done it. I honestly believed I was a lost cause. I didn't think anything would ever change and I would never amount to anything. And even though Foster made me believe in myself a little, it takes more than that to change a person into who they WANT to be. Still while riding Foster, I watched others on THEIR horses and just wished I could do that, I could look like that, I could jump that. And I knew I couldn't. Knew it wasn't possible, knew it would not be ME who would do it.
So loosing a show season with Foster was disappointing. I never believed I'd move up 2 divisions in a year.. Back at my old barn, I was showing at crossrails, even though I'd been riding for 4 years. Then my first year with my new barn I did 2ft. This year? 2'6". IT doesn't sound like much, but it's waaay further than I ever thought I could come. BUT, after I stopped riding Foster, I got Bug. And he MADE ME ACHIEVE MY DREAM. I jumped 3'6". And though I never got to show him or think about anything like that, it was still the most amazing thing to do it. After he left, I got Whoville, who taught me how to just GO WITH IT.. I can't slow him down, so I just jump anyways. And we coursed 3'3".. Again, NEVER thought I could do that.
These horses left because they were here to teach me how to ride, how to hope, how to believe, how to GO FOR IT, put in my all and never have any regrets. In the end, I am here with no horse, spending my days riding ponies or the lease horses on their off-days. I don't really have any stability or sure horse, but it was all worth it. All that pain of 2011 was worth it to get to 2012.
IT was the best year ever. I hated every heartbreak, but it was the best year of my life. And if 2012 promises to be anything like 2011.. well, I can only say. BRING. IT. ON.
Oh, but wait. Highlights of 2011?
-3'6"
-Coursing 3'3"
-Peanut, Bug, Whoville
-Working student
-Jumpers
-riding until I bled
-better equitation(or rather.. stronger.)
-accepted into my first choice college
-in spite of the thoughts I had lost a show season with Foster, I ended up year end champion of the 2'6" Jr/Am division because his wonderful leaser let me borrow him for 2 more shows!

Category:

Pets & Animals

Tags:

• Trauma

[withatwist1000]

mind if i use the audio? ill give u full credit:)

[horsefreak129]

@withatwist1000 Yes, you may use it! (: I'd love that!

[samsfluff99]

lol, can i steal the WORDS? or at least some of em? I'm making a RIP vid for my mom's horse, and need somehing to inspire me... FOUNDIT!

[horsefreak129]

@samsfluff99 Yes you can! (: Aww, thank you, so glad this inspired you!

[valowify]

this is BRILLIANT! really, very stunning. :)

[horsefreak129]

@valowify Thank you SO much, that means so much to me!

[withatwist1000]

@horsefreak129 ok thanks!

[horsefreak129]

@MakeEquitate I made it (: Yes, you can use it! I'd be honored if you did!

[MakeEquitate]

Hey, where'd you get this audio? Could I use it ? :)

[horsefreak129]

@horsefreak129 **cont2 Thank you for the comment, I really appreciate it and am so glad this motivates and inspires you (: