I'm more than just Trauma and Dissociative Identity Disorder

**I WANT TO WARN EVERYONE THAT THIS IS TRIGGERING**
(Graphic drawings of abuse and photograph of scars and possibly other images that may upset people. There, I warned ya.)

This is a video on well... me, and my life basically. Of course it's very briefed and summed up but I think I make my point.


(For those who are going to ask, the song is "Ladies and Gentlement we are floating in space" by Spiritualized)

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• Dissociative
• Identity
• Disorder
• Trauma
• Survivor
• Abuse
• Sexual
• Physical
• Hope
• Recovery
• Self
• Injury
• Harm
• Mutilation
• Suicide

[MaxP0wer25]

you...with sancutuary are manipulated into believing them over u and bang! ur back under their control at square 1.

It's hard to understand but 90% of those i've spoken to with this disorder & PTDS had similar situations, have had the same difficulties.

But I am away, free, and they have no power anymore. I recently turned 20 years old so i was a youth trying to get out. That in itself is the most difficult time to get away from an abusive household other than homelessness. did that too. 

[rockee77]

@MaxP0wer25

I get you...

did they never understand what they did to you? never understood how much damage they've done?

arent your siblings also victimized by them?

what are you doing now? studying, working?

[MaxP0wer25]

@rockee77 i was applying for university to start towards a career in pharmacology and/or mediicine,,, but i was hit by a serious physical disorder and have been spending the past 3 years in and out of the hospital for treatments. None psych related so that's great news! But there is no cure so until i can stabilize enough, that's my future. But i WILL one day pursue my goals and dreams of school and work. it's hopefully just on hold and not completely deceased. For now I am on disability.

[MaxP0wer25]

I do not have any contact with any of these people. I left, It took many tries because they hooked a snare on me and dragged me back several times but i finally made it out. I FINALLY did it. it took a while but when it happened it was a wonderful feeling.

Coming from a controlling manipulative family it is hard to understand how come people like me dont just up and leave but the control they have over you are incredible and when you DO get out the manipulation they do to those providing you...

[cath1506]

was that really you on the pictures?

[MaxP0wer25]

Yes. The drawings were done by one of my alters and the images of the kid was me when i was a kid. The older ones were taken a few years ago.

But yes, that really is me in those pictures, scars and all.

[ookami225]

people walk around in the light and see the beauty of everything around them sometimes they forget to see the beauty of the darkness becuase they're scared being in the dark may not be great but when u once again step into the light everything seems so much more beautiful and for that you must appreciate the darkness

[landofhealth]

u are an  inspiration. safe hugs xx bluebell x

[alamidblackcat]

you are a survivor and amazing the video is amazing and raw and it is not easy being a survivor but you never know how many people your video will help. Wish you great peace as you continue your journey

[nepenthe7]

You are an inspiration to those of us in the mental health field who wish to disambiguate mental illness to the public and reduce the stigmas, ignorance, and ridicule to sufferers of D.I.D. I admire your ability to face and overcome the trauma which you have endured, and I sincerely thank you for having the courage to relate your experiences and educate others.

[shamaniac80]

I can feel you.....aching in my heart. You are strong beyond belief to have made it this far. I can imagine you are and will continue to be a HUGE inspiration for thousands of others who are where you have been.

Lots of love and blessings to you, beautiful soul!

[Luka78nl]

Hi MaxPOwer25,

I also was traumatized as a child and I also developed DID. I recognize the strugling, the selfharm, the will to survive. And the drawings of your alters look like our drawings! I have been in and out of therapy for over 10 years for DID and life is better now. I'm still a multiple, still dissociating, still have panic attacks. But we're much more stable now. Anyways, I wish you all the best!

[dambrose44]

this video moved me beyond mere words .. you are a beautiful strong woman .. i am sorry you had to suffer and live thru such a war zone every day of your young life .. no rhyme or reason to it whatsoever .. i am so sorry .. i will never for the life of me understand how or what could ever possess someone to ever want to harm an innocent child .. .. when it should be only natural to nuture and protect them .. there are a lot of sad and pathetic evil people in this world .. (((Hugs & Love)))<3<3

[rockee77]

so let me get this straight...you family abused you physically and your neighbor sexually. your teachers weren't nice to you either. yes. that's a "nice" way for a child to learn how to trust adults and learn how to build meaningful relationships.

how come that you still have contact to your family?