Tony Porter: A call to men

http://www.ted.com At TEDWomen, Tony Porter makes a call to men everywhere: Don't "act like a man." Telling powerful stories from his own life, he shows how this mentality, drummed into so many men and boys, can lead men to disrespect, mistreat and abuse women and each other. His solution: Break free of the "man box."

TEDTalks is a daily video podcast of the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes. Featured speakers have included Al Gore on climate change, Philippe Starck on design, Jill Bolte Taylor on observing her own stroke, Nicholas Negroponte on One Laptop per Child, Jane Goodall on chimpanzees, Bill Gates on malaria and mosquitoes, Pattie Maes on the "Sixth Sense" wearable tech, and "Lost" producer JJ Abrams on the allure of mystery. TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design, and TEDTalks cover these topics as well as science, business, development and the arts. Closed captions and translated subtitles in a variety of languages are now available on TED.com, at http://www.ted.com/translate. Watch a highlight reel of the Top 10 TEDTalks at http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/top10

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[Ellen Nora]

How many roads most a man walk down

Before you call him a man?

Perhaps first we need to define what a man is.

[seutoobacct]

Oh ok, I get it now. We should disrespect women because blacks commit more crime. Check! Man, there is nothing anyone can do for you on an outpatient basis. Seek help now.

[Dawson Robinson]

This guy is a paid stooge! Now, there's problem with being a man, WTF!?!

He didn't grow up in the New York I grew up in. And the problems within the black community isn't because men act the way this clown described. Its just the opposite, there isn't enough men in the black community acting like a man. Blacks due to slavery, Jim Crow etc have a matriarch family structure, and that's the source of the majority problems we suffered from.

[Christine Miura]

However, they were raised to see others with value and contribution no matter what gender. To surround themselves with people

[Christine Miura]

I raised my two teenage sons with the ability for full range of human expression. They've played sports and are competitive to certain extent.

[5moka]

MY MUM DID THE SAME THING TO ME BECAUSE I WAS A BOY

[Lauren Stapleton]

This one is excellent :)

[philerator]

I don't know where that guy grew up but neither I nor any boys that I knew were brought up to look at women as property or inferior or objectify them. Second, as soon as I heard the "deconstruct" I knew this was a ride on the post modern railroad. For these reasons, although he may have had one or two good points, his whole thesis and speech have to be rejected. Tested, failed.

[2014akshay]

Also, its not all women. Its the women in lower socioeconomic classes and with disabilities that are at the highest risk.

You can't say such a discussion would demean every women you know without conceding your propositions are demeaning to men. Honestly, that's not what these should be about. Its not the fault of good men and women that there are monsters out there, we should just try to produce less of them by stabilizing families and protecting kids from sexual abuse, predictors of rape.

[2014akshay]

I do not wish to suppress knowledge, I just don't think we should pretend DV is a one sided problem. Rape is a different issue entirely, as the majority of rapists are men. However, if prison rapes are included and coerced penetration is classified as rape, both men and women have similar levels of victimhood. We should make the importance of respecting boundaries clear and teach people to protect themselves from rapists. We also need to take prison-rape more seriously, and we have started too.

[2014akshay]

Being harder on woman-on-man violence doesn't mean we ignore man-on-woman violence. Both of them are serious issues, and both should be addressed. Its not just beating, abusive women are 3x as likely to use weapons as abusive men. We need to increase awareness of female-on-male violence, because abused men seeking support often find only ridicule and shaming. We need to teach women the warning signs of abusive partners so they end these relationship and report the abuser (to protect other women)

[seutoobacct]

It is absolute nonsense to compare the threat all women face every day to a grown ass man getting bitten by his gf. It is stupid and childish and designed to avoid a solution to violence against women. I repeat: Societies that don't tolerate violence against women find ways to prevent it. What they DON'T do is engage in discussions about whether women hit men too... So you go ahead with that. I can't engage that level of childishness without demeaning every woman I know, and I will not do that.