Bad Lifeguard

Irreverent rap about a bad lifeguard. Created by Nathan Worden

Director of Photography: Evan Gütt
2nd Camera: Tuan Troung

Oh he's the Bad Lifeguard, selective with his CPR
Life insurance I hope you've got,
you won't be safe unless you're hot.

All of his time goes into relaxation,
Go find somebody else if you're in need of salvation.
When you leave to go swim,
Make sure your Mom could kiss you,
Lookin' bad at this pool has become a safety issue.

Guess what, his head's full of chlorine where his brain should be stored,
While the other lifeguards work, he sleeps on the diving board.
For the sake of us all, his lessons gotta stop,
I came to lear to dive and all he taught was how to flop.
Sure he's a tough guy and his tan is lookin' great, but the goggle floatie combo still makes him look like he's 8.

Hang on you say, that today is your religious event
As a baby you were sprinkled but now you're gettin' wet.
You are going to brave the waters because you are on a mission, but let me warn ya, you won't rise from this guy's baptism.
Yeah, that's right, he's a certified dunker of sons and daughters,
just to see them again, better pray, god parts the waters.

Texting, flexing, what he does when he's not resting.
Flirting, smirking, what he does, he's never working.
You know that you are in trouble when your lifeguard's blowing bubbles, unless you want to drown miss, pleas stay off the premises.

Party Underwater, Popo cannot bother, welcome to an all out brawl, best party ever without alcohol!
Woah, Woah, we're half way there, don't ever want to have to come up for air,
he won't save you if you go down, just remember drunk means drown.
If you ask me his career is going south, the only time I needed help, he gave my girlfriend mouth to mouth.

Sittin' on the stand, whistle in your hand, kids out of hand, time comes to a stand, and
Little pool has a leak, filter pump is running weak, bathrooms reek, head guard's gonna freak.
Beach 1, Beach 2, wow that shift flew, splash down, shrill sound, little kids bob around.
First aid, in the shad, sippin' on a lemonade, channel chair, beware, stand needs repair.
Kiddie slide, inside, sunscreen? You're fired, little pool, shout a rule, stupid kids in Middle school.
Lap deep, fall asleep, gotta get something to eat.
Bulk head, nuff said, good as brain dead.

And I know, you must be scared, because he simply, does not care. And I know, it must be hard, when you're at the pool with the bad lifeguard.

Category:

Entertainment

Tags:

• Nathan Worden
• chapman
• bad lifeguard
• corvallis high school
• underground showdown
• mr. spartan
• crescent valley
• cv

[GabbyRae13]

I'm in a lifeguard training class right now and all I kept thinking was, "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo­oooooo!" Lol.

[CuteNeko12]

"Nobody really likes those guys, being a lifeguard is so dumb! All they they is blow, blow, blow on they're STUPID whistles! Rub, Rub, Rub, that white stuff on they're noses! and show off they're GROSS, MISSHAPEN, BODIES!!" ~ Patrick Star

[RoseMarieAlmost30]

love it. been in aquatics for 11 years. pretty right on :) make another!!!

[EIRExPETER]

The song is shut but it ok

[lizzy9995]

Wow.....

[DROLL30]

gay 

[cronsmoker2010]

Gay

[12345grandman]

Why doesn't this have more views?

[Nolo393]

LOL love this cuz this is my pool! XD

[MBH96]

They're hot. ;O