exhausted babbling/sort-of update

i don't think i talk like this in real life. i think the camera makes me nervous and causes me to gesticulate and fidget inappropriately and sound vaguely like a girl from somewhere in california i'd never want to visit (um, yikes). or maybe i can just blame my exhaustion.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• chronic illness
• lyme
• lyme disease
• update
• babble
• isolation
• exhaustion

[susandash1]

Are you still around? I happened upon your videos and am addicted. You created your own little community all by yourself. You are not invisible!!!

[PsycoliciousMe]

Hey Heather!

I can relate with you on the whole feeling lonely/invisible thing like so much, its not even funny. The past 6 months, I think I have had a handful of visitors come and go. But mostly I'm on my own.

Its really hard too when it hits you when you unsuspect it.

I wish I could tell you something to make you feel better, but there really isn't alot to say.

But one thing I can say is you made a big imprint on me the first time I saw you!

Love and Energies.

Kayla

[peterpauliepan]

sadly we/i haven't found a real solution except to reach out to people online in similar situations. i have to hope that those people understand. there's been a lot of breaking down of my trust in people, makes the social issue harder. at times i like being the invisible one and at other times i wish i was able to speak and interact in the way that i used to. you know where to find me if you need to talk, anytime. i don't sleep at all either.

[peterpauliepan]

sounds like you are in a mixed bag sort of situation. some things better and some things worse. i hope the naturopath is helpful in some way and that you can sort out a slower paced place to live and a doctor of some sort to go with it.

i know that lonely feeling, people always tell me that i'm lucky to be in a relationship but there's a loneliness even in that. we have lost all of our friends and have no real support and it's hard to be social for me. i feel even more cut off lately.

[artsyfart66]

Damn, it's a novel, ya'll. Anyway, just want you to know that i totally get it & am sorry you are so lonely in that big city. I think i will stay in Asheville for a bit longer to heal since, it is a wonderful place to just heal. The "queer community" here is not my bag though so, i don't know that i will remain living here. Do what you need to take care of you & feel free to call me anytime. I am a good listener. Enjoy your new book,sleep, & be well. : )

[artsyfart66]

I keep my hair in the hands of my  good friend & hairdresser. I hate how sad you look & i know that look & feeling all to well. I am shy too, have social anxiety, and women scare me. I never know what to say to them. I usually end up acting like a total nerd around them, get all nervous, & end up wishing i could duct tape my mouth when i'm around them. Plus my heart has been broken way too many times which is another reason for being a hermit. I feel like an alien & can relate to few.

[artsyfart66]

Hey girl,

I admire you for living in NY. I could never do it. It is much to over-stimulating there. Alot of my friends have moved or just busy with their own lives and so even though i have lived here 15/16 years & know lots of people. I am only close to VERY few & hardly see them. So, i am a loner because of this disease & the isolation it seems to bring to my life. So, i understand what you go through. I love your hair by the way & would never even attempt to cut my own hair. Brave!