Communication & Understanding Others : Understanding Passive-Aggressive Men

Understanding passive-aggressive men begins with knowing passive-aggressive behavior, which is using lack of action to gain desired results. Combat passive-aggressive partners and avoid being manipulated with relationship advice from a psychologist in this free video on interpersonal communication.

Expert: Reka Morvay
Contact: www.rekamorvay.com
Bio: Reka Morvay is a psychologist and doula with degrees from University of California, Berkeley and Cornell University. She also trained with the Hungarian Association of Cognitive and Behavior Therapy.
Filmmaker: Paul Volniansky

Category:

Howto & Style

Tags:

• communication
• relationships
• men
• women
• dating
• romance
• interpersonal

[systemaddictshock]

I caught myself blaming others for my shortfalls because of PA. ha, never knew that this was actually a condition that people can fall into, including myself. Now I certainly understand why I did the things I done, said, and lashed out. As for me, it started out during childhood wanting to make everyone happy - even if I sacrificed a little bit of myself for it. Crawling out of this condition will certainly be a personal Renaissance.

[GoddessSameena]

@GoddessSameena The best people to date are people who are full of life, are warm and open, say what they mean and mean what they say, are on time (punctuality shows integrity, maturity, respect for others), - but unfortunately they are not always easy to find. Sex is also a great indicator of what a man is like - if the sex is bad, it is almost always a sign that the man is a loser in other areas also.

[GoddessSameena]

GREAT ADVICE! I was in a relationship with a passive aggressive man - he expected me to guess what was wrong, was constantly negative. He had a loser's perspective on life - he defined his success in life by his ability to make his woman not get what she wanted from hers. I told him if wasnt going to change, I would leave him and he didnt. So I left. And he claims he has changed but I know better than to buy his bullshit. 'set boundaries and follow thru on consequences' - great advice.

[comlexcomplicationya]

Anyone got a 'simpler' version of explaining what 'passive-agressive' is? =/

pwese x)

[noxure]

@edyinthesky I think PA really does exist if you watch it from a certain angle.

Say you have different types of aggression(physical, verbal, nonverbal) and various degrees of violent intentions.

Passive aggression is neither verbal, nor physical. But, it's essential to make a distinction in how much violence is involved. Does someone do it because he feels down, or does he want to take someone else down. That's a big difference.

[noxure]

@edyinthesky That's the danger with psychology and channels like this.

People read some books, watch some videos and think they suddenly have deep insights in how the human mind works. On top of that, they fool themselves into thinking that because they "get it", that they are detached from it as if it can't apply to them. Especially the people who are in denial of their own personal flaws are more likely to dive into psychology, so they can use their knowledge as a weapon to blame others.

[edyinthesky]

@edyinthesky Which makes my whole point: it seems like the persons accusing someone of acting passive aggressive, is actually being passive aggressive himself/herself. Saying someone is PA is just badmouthing. Secondly, what is so wrong with ignoring people, yelling when your mad, not acting out what was forced upon you to act out, etc. (all forms of passive aggression). Yes, nobody likes to be treated that way, but we all do it sometimes and we all know why we do it: sometimes It works!

[edyinthesky]

@noxure I find this whole notion of passive aggression extremely dubious, Thankfully it´s not (yet) generally recognized. just by naming it passive aggression, instead for what the person was really doing, gives it (and the person accused for it) a negative connotation. If you say someone didn´t do something after you both agreed upon that, than it raises more questions and maybe you´ll figure out why that person didn´t do that. If you say he or she is passive aggressive it´s just vilifying.

[edyinthesky]

What distincts passive-aggressive men from passive-aggressive women besides their gender? Reka Morvay, It's strange that first you say you will talk about passive aggressive men, and then the only thing you talk about is passive aggression . I doubt you are intending to be misandric, but you nevertheless are by attributing a negative characteristic or action to a specific gender. What do you think?

[rica0]

@Lamboragon get a grip, you are obviously passive aggressive as well as ignorant