The Meaningful Use Song

Lyrics by Peggy Polaneczky, MD
Music via free source midi of Tom Lehrer's The Elements based on GIlbert & Sullivan Modern Major General from the Pirates of Penzance

LYRICS

I am the model user of an EMR that's meaningful
My patient's information is computerized and digital
Each visit note and test result is easily retrievable
With speed and accuracy that is almost inconceivable!
It's shared by every health provider who should need to see it all
And yet it's safely kept behind a well-protected firewall
If somebody should hack into it that would be a federal crime
And if I share my password it's for sure I'll do some prison time

The demographic information I collect may seem absurd
There's date of birth, race, gender, ethnic group and languages preferred.
In short, in matters medical, computerized and digital
I am the model user of an EMR that's meaningful.

I reconcile each medication, noting every single pill
Except for controlled substances, I electronically refill
I check for interactions for each single drug I may prescribe
And allergies to medications that my patients may describe.
I take blood pressure, weight and height, and calculate their BMI
And check the box that says I told them if it is too low or high.
The system plots a growth chart I don't need to do it manually
I ask each patient's smoking status and update it annually.

I keep a current and updated patient diagnosis list
I send reminders to my patients to prevent appointments missed
I'm typing better than my Mom who once worked in a steno pool
I am a model user of an EMR that's meaningful.

At each encounter's end I print an after visit summary
I'm tracking 14 core objective measurements of quality
Plus 5 of 10 more menu set objectives chosen just for me
Will this improve the care I give or is it just frivolity?
It does not matter, 'cause my data pretty soon will be online
And patients who can see it will be judging me in no short time
Deciding if I am a doctor who provides them decent care
Based only on the numbers that the CMS report puts there.

It's been 5 years since I have looked a patient straight into the eyes
Without my finger on the keys or else a laptop on my thighs
Though I have carpel tunnel syndrome, trigger thumb and shoulder pull,
I am a model user of an EMR that's meaningful.

Category:

Science & Technology

Tags:

• Meaningful
• Use