2002 Citroen C5 Break 2.2 HDi automatik Review,Start Up, Engine, and In Depth Tour

For more in depth reviews check my channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/avtomobil...

Filmed by: Tomaž Kožar Jesenice

My eyes don't work any more. When I dial a number on my mobile, it's only through sheer blind luck that I get through to the right person. And as for texts -- forget it. Then there's the bothersome business of going out to eat. Most restaurants provide mood lighting, which is wonderful if you are dining with a moose but not so wonderful if -- as is normal -- the menu is printed in the sort of typeface that's usually seen on microdots. Mostly, I just point and hope that I've managed to miss the marzipan pie with grated butter beans.

Of course, I should go to the opticians but I'm afraid this isn't possible because, before giving me a pair of spectacles, they will look into my eyes with machinery . . . and here we hit on the problem.

I'm not a squeamish man. I am never unduly troubled by scenes on the news that the BBC's editorial policy unit has deemed worthy of a warning about "graphic violence and bloodshed". I can kill a chicken. I could amputate a gangrenous leg. I can even graze the internet and not be constantly fearful that I'm going to be so revolted by something that pops onto the screen that I'll vomit into the keyboard.

But eyes? No. I can't even think about them without going queasy. When my daughter needed an operation to correct a squint, the doctor explained the procedure to me, after which I had to be brought round with smelling salts. I have to fast-forward "that bit" in Kill Bill 2, and I have never once used eyedrops. It would be impossible.As a result of all this, I buy my reading glasses from the only shops I ever visit, which are in airport departure lounges. This is not easy because the instructions you have to follow before deciding what sort of lens you need are printed in a typeface smaller than most bacteria.

Consequently, I usually end up with a pair of specs that require me to position a book six seats in front of where I'm sitting on the plane. Or so close to my face that it actually squashes my nose.

And here's the really bad bit. The glasses you buy over the counter are a big joke -- one that's being played by the Chinese, I expect. They are held together with nuts and bolts so small that when they come undone -- and they do, all the time -- you need a carbon nanotube to do them up again. And of course you don't have a carbon nanotube with you because you're on a plane, and such things -- along with shampoo and tennis rackets -- aren't allowed on planes. What's more, you don't even have your reading glasses because they're in four pieces on your left knee.

I wouldn't mind, but even if you are not squeamish about eyes, and you make regular trips to the opticians and have a pair of lenses that are perfectly suited to your particular condition, you will look like an ocean-going idiot.

Everyone chooses their specs to make a statement -- to make them look interesting or sexy or wise -- whereas in fact all spectacles do is tell the world that your body doesn't work properly. Choosing purple frames merely highlights that fact. It's like being diagnosed with erectile dysfunction and then buying trousers that have no fly.

So maybe the only solution is that we do without glasses and spend the rest of our lives with a headache from the strain, eating marzipan and butter beans. Or that the worlds of industry and catering accept that half of their customers struggle with anything smaller than 72-point bold type, and that they reprint their instructions and menus to suit.

This brings me nicely to the dashboard of the new Citroën C5. My demonstrator had a 7in 16:9 television screen with a built-in GSM telephone, a radio, a CD player, iPod connectivity, a 10GB hard drive to store music and GPS navigation with traffic alerts and a bird's-eye-view map.In addition, there was an electronic parking brake (complete with a system that prevents the car rolling back on hill starts), cruise control and an adjustable speed limiter. And then, in no particular order, I had parking sensors, electrically adjusted seats that vibrate if you stray out of your lane, directional headlamps, switchable suspension, ride-height adjustment, traction control, a dual-zone air-conditioning system, hazard warning lights that come on when you brake hard, an electronic stability program, an electrochrome rear-view mirror, rain-sensing wipers, dark-sensing headlamps, a trip computer, a tyre-pressure monitor . . .

This car made a Mercedes S-class look like the back end of a Cornish cave, and while that's wonderful, unfortunately all of these things have to be operated with buttons that are mostly the size of pinheads because that's the only way they can get them all in. It is therefore impossible to find them and even more impossible to read what any of them do, at least not without reaching for your reading glasses, which is tricky when you're on the move.

Category:

Autos & Vehicles

Tags:

• Start Up
• Engine
• and In Depth Tour

[subzero92MK]

very good car

[pavoSNK]

ammm whats the name of the song :D ?

[ivanatora]

Ah, ofcourse!

[pesky89]

@ivanatora No, its not 1.6 its 16, meaning that it has 16 valves. This being a 4 cyl. its 4v per cyl.

[ivanatora]

Btw, great car!

[ivanatora]

It says HDI 1.6 on the engine plate?

[makitoshi1981]

otimo video

[tigra17]

Nice!

[leonamfjg]

muito bom