The Cake Is A Lie--A Portal-themed song, sung by a hungry test subject at Aperture Science

The tune "Still Alive" was written by Jonathan Coulton for the end credits of the first Portal game. This version, by Kavalier Calm, features original lyrics from the perspective of a disgruntled and hungry test subject at Aperture Science. Downloads are available at: kavaliercalm.bandcamp.com/track/the-cake­-is-a-lie The Cake Is A Lie
This was a joke. I'm making a note here: EPIC FAIL.
It's hard to overstate my disappointment.
Lab rat of science—that's all I ever was.
Because I can, I fought through the maze—trying to find cake.
And there's sense crying over all of the lies.
You promised cake that doesn't exist.
But the Science got done, and you made your gun.
And the truth dies with us lab rats.
And I'm angry. I'm being so sincere right now.
You didn't care for my heart or if you killed me
and tore me to pieces. You teleported my atoms
and they burned as they transformed because I so hated you.
And solving your puzzles may have made me smile.
But I thought Alphas like me earned a treat.
And I'm sad I played your dishonest game
Now that I know the cake was a lie.
Please don't leave me. I want out of this labyrinth.
I heard at Black Mesa they have brownies.
THIS IS NO JOKE. I WANT TO BE A FAT RAT.
And your fake cake can't tempt me any longer.
Look at me still solving puzzles like a good mouse.
GLaDOS writes the rules in Aperture's house.
And I'll work my way through these test chamber rooms.
Even though the cake is a lie. And believe me the cake is a lie.
The Science and cake is a lie. It feels AWFUL that the cake is a lie.
Fellow lab rats, the cake is a lie. We are dying for a lie.
The cake is a lie.

• Category

  Gaming

[TweekDash]

Absolutely terrible. Considering it's just a rip-off of the original you had a bloody hard time making it rhyme.

To think you'd probably have 100K+ views if you'd not released it years after the game came out..

[InspiredCrowd]

As I detail on my blog, someone asked me to write a song about Portal, and I respond to all the requests I receive, no matter how timely. This isn't about the # of views; it's about the process. And I admit very clearly in the video description that I borrowed the tune--for familiarity's sake. Also, the original lyrics don't rhyme, nor do many good songs/poems. Only toddlers think lyrics/poetry must rhyme. If you want to hear rhymes, try some of my other songs. Thanks for the input! -- K.C.

[TweekDash]

Well now I just feel bad.

[2468legodude]

I'm being a hungry test subject just by looking at that picture.

[Phillip Ebert]

Black Mesa have got brownies?

[Phillip Ebert]

Still Alive parody?

[CM Pink]

I like this song.

[mateusbmedeiros]

I like how you change the melody and rhythm of the vocal lines...

[hermit5ooo]

all i have to say is the cake is not a lie