I Believe That Bell-Ends Are The Future

A pair of frankly jaw-dropping ads from 1989 for the Northern Irish equivalent of YTS. Whatever you might think of the way that particular freedom-is-slavery programme was advertised - zen-like, authentically awkward youths speaking and sometimes walking through photographs of themselves in a desperate attempt to convince the public that "The Best Advertisment For YTS Is The People Who've Done It" - at least we didn't have this. Britain's YTS kids might have been stiff and faintly terrified-looking, but at least they weren't this bunch of prize chumps, bursting into boring song about how they're "the youth of today" and they "want to have their say" and they're future if you'd just give them the chance to blah blah blah in the most rudimentary "inspirational power ballad" fashion possible. If you deprived Diane Warren of sleep for a fortnight, she might come up with this.

The first ad is a solo performed by a preening tosser in a salmon pink shirt who I genuinely despise, which is unfair really since (ironically) he's just doing his job. In all probability, he's not even the one singing the words. The second one has roughly the same song (slightly different lyrics, slightly different key, same basic bollocks) sung by an entire chorus, including Pink Arse again, led by a tiny woman of about 30. I like her lips, though. They're nice.

Irn Bru were doing this ironically at the time, but these guys mean it. This campaign adds more credence to my theory that Northern Ireland is genuinely insane. As is YouTube, whose tag suggestions continue to amuse me so much I can't help but add them all despite their often complete lack of connection to my uploads. One advantage: the use of the term YTP makes this prime pooping material.

Category:

Entertainment

Tags:

• advert
• commercial
• PIF
• public
• information
• film
• service
• PSA
• announcement
• YTS
• Youth
• Training
• Pee
• Scheme
• Program
• Why
• Oh
• YTP
• Sub-Meatloaf
• Power
• Ballad
• Jim
• Steinman
• and
• Diane
• Warren
• are
• weeping
• teen music
• fantasy movie
• teen television
• hip hop
• rap

[hotelmario510]

YTP...YouTube Poop?

[Applemask]

@hotelmario510 BE PART OF MAMA LUIGI

[docmagnus88]

High School Musical, bollocks. This is mainlining Glee.

[Applemask]

@docmagnus88 Glee's likeable and self-aware. I kept waiting for the ironic twist at the end of these but it never came.

[Lazyguy22]

When I saw the title the first thing I thought was those bloody First Choice adverts. These are almost as bad.

"I BELIEVE THAT BUSES ARE THE FUTURE

TREAT THEM WELL AND LET THEM LEAD THE WAY

ENJOY ALL THE COMFORTS THEY POSSESS INSIIIIIIIIIDE ARRRGH SOMEONE TELL AL-QUAEDIA THEY GOT THE WRONG BUS

[TheGerkuman]

The question now is, which is worse. The real youth of today, or the youth from this ad.

I'd take the youth of today, full stop. At least they're themselves, and we tend to make it look like our youth are all the bad ones, when they're mostly not. (Hence why Barnardos or a charity of that ilk has that campaign now to say 'Most of our kids are alright, stop treating them like shit'.)

[hotelmario510]

@Applemask I WILL MAKE YOUR FACE THE GREATEST IN NORTHERN IRELAND. OR ELSE YOU WILL DIE.

[ste1bro]

Ho. Lee. Fuck.

I feel the urge to hit something.

[welshfilmbuff]

These are Dandelion and Burdock kids in search of a Coke ad!

[paulbrown06]

High school musical started here. Bastards!