Legally Blonde: There! Right There!

There! Right There! from the broadway production Legally Blonde

Elle:
There! Right There!
Look at that tan, that tinted skin.
Look at the killer shape he's in.
Look at that slightly stubbly chin.
Oh Please he's gay, totally gay.

Callahan:
I'm not about to celebrate.
Every trait could indicate the totally straight expatriate.
This guy's not gay, I say not gay.

All:
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to assume
that a man who wears perfume
is automatically radically fey?

Emmett:
But look at his coiffed and crispy locks.

Elle:
Look at his silk translucent socks.

Callahan:
There's the eternal paradox.
Look what we're seeing.

Elle:
What are we seeing?

Callahan:
Is he gay?

Elle:
Of course he's gay.

Calahan:
Or European?

All:
ohhhhhh.
Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or European?

Warner:
Well, hey don't look at me.

Vivian:
You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports.
They play peculiar sports.

All:
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts.
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks.
They will say things like "ciao bella"
while they kiss you on both cheeks.

Elle:
Oh please.

All:
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.

Warner:
Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.

All:
Is he gay or European?
or

Enid:
There! Right There!
Look at that condescending smirk.
Seen it on every guy at work.
That is a metro hetero jerk.
That guy's not gay, I say no way.

All:
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to presume
that a hottie in that costume

Elle:
Is automatically-radically

Callahan:
Ironically chronically

Vivian:
Certainly pertin'tly

Warner:
Genetically medically

All:
GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY
DAMNIT!

Gay or European?

Callahan
So stylish and relaxed.

All:
Is he gay or European?

Callahan
I think his chest is waxed.

Vivian:
But they bring their boys up different there.
It's culturally diverse.
It's not a fashion curse.

All:
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse.
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code.

Brooke:
Yet his accent is hypnotic
but his shoes are pointy toed.

All:
Huh.
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.

Judge:
But if he turns out straight I'm free at eight on Saturday.

All:
Is he gay or European?
gay or european?
Gay or Euro-

Emmett:
Wait a minute!
Give me a chance to crack this guy.
I have an idea I'd like to try.

Callahan:
The floor is yours.

Emmett:
So Mr. Argitacos...
This alleged affair with Ms. Windam has been going on for...?

Mikos:
2 years.

Emmett:
And your first name again is...?

Mikos:
Mikos.

Emmett:
And your boyfriend's name is...?

Mikos:
Carlos.
I'm sorry! I misunderstand. You say boyfriend.
I thought you say best friend. Carlos is my best friend.

Carlos:
You bastard!
You lying bastard!
That's it.
I no cover for you, no more!
Peoples.
I have a big announcement.
This man is Gay and European!
you've got to stop your being
a completely closet case.
No matter what he say.
I swear he never ever ever swing the other way.
You are so gay.
You big parfait!
You flaming boy band cabaret.

Mikos:
I'm straight!

Carlos:
You were not yesterday.
So if I may, I'm proud to say,
He's gay!

All:
And European!

Carlos:
He's gay!

All:
And European!

Carlos:
He's gay!

All:
And European and Gay!

Mikos:
Fine okay I'm gay!

All:
Hooray!

Mikos and Carlos:
Fine. Okay. We're gay!

Category:

Music

Tags:

• legally
• blonde
• there!
• right
• peacelovemollx3
• laura
• bell
• bundy

[AVeryPotterFreak]

France is definately bisexual and European

[PartyHardy9090]

Haha, I've been seeing Hetalia comments everywhere, man. It's incredibly amusing xD

[TheLizardhead]

Hetalia fans! Hetalia fans everywhere!

[PkmnTrainerBarry101]

my big sister does not lke hetalia anymore but me even i like the anime soul eater i still like hetalia and sure Italy is my favorite character and country i love my country Italy is gay..................

[FangTheUmbreon123]

Mikos:

I'm straight!

Carlos:

You were not yesterday.

...LMAO.

[CreeprThaReaper]

Wait, why so many hetalia people

[TheCoolColorOfBlack]

This song made me laugh so much when I first saw the musical :)

[AVeryPotterFreak]

@Animerockchic Marukaite chikyuu! Draw a circle there's the Earth!

[AVeryPotterFreak]

@AGirlNamedArthurPRO I get what you mean. I am a Hetalia fan but I also love the musical in its own.

[AGirlNamedArthurPRO]

I'm so sick of all these Heta fans in this place. ಠ_ಠ

[georgiefan1]

the guy who plays Nikos at my school IS from France!!!! Its so funny! :D