The Ballad of Ray Park

So I went to the Comic/Sci-Fi Convention...which apparently isn't a "major" enough convention to require capital letters according to Effie...anyway...I went with him to this thing and Ray Park (Darth Maul, Toad, Snake Eyes [from the upcoming G.I. Joe movie]) was there signing autographs. I guess this was enough to inspire me to sit down and write this tribute song...Ray, if you're listening...please send me a free autograph.

Lyrics:
A few years ago...I forget exactly how many...I went to go see a movie.
Maybe you've heard of it. It was a little picture called: "Star Wars, Episode I: The Phantom Menace"
I'm not going to lie to you; I didn't like it.
It was kind of boring. That is until...

Out of the shadows came a face 'twas black and red
He had a two-sided sword of light and horns upon his head
He leaped around with robes of black and a power that was dark
He stabbed Liam Neeson in the chest and pierced his Jedi heart!

Ray Park!
Ray Park!

Then a few years later...it doesn't matter how many...I went to see another movie.
This one was called: X-Men
This movie was great; I loved it. It was just awesome.
If you haven't seen it, you should go see it.
Anyway...it was great and all...but one part that really stuck with me that I loved the most...
Came as a bit of a surprise...

Out of the shadows came a face 'twas painted green.
He hung out with a super posse who was super mean.
And with his power he leaped around and tore the heroes apart!
And with his tongue he reached across to leave his amphibian mark!

Ray Park!
Ray Park!

Then...a couple of days ago...I went to go to a comic book convention with my friend Effie.
Comics aren't really normally my thing, but I thought I'd try something new.
And I'm glad I did. For lo-and-behold!
Who do you think was there?...

Out of the shadows at the back of the hall...
He spoke with a British accent and he stood nine feet tall!
...okay, that's a lie; he wasn't really nine feet tall. He's actually shorter than I am.
But I was in such awe that he seemed like he was much taller. You have to understand. I digress...
And with his martial skills he signed his name like it was art!
But he was charging twenty bucks each...so, empty-handed, I had to depart!

From my hero...the one...the only...

Ray Park!
Ray Park!

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• Ray
• Park
• Toad
• Darth
• Maul
• Snake
• Eyes

[Bookfoxx18]

OH MY GOD! THIS SONG IS AMAZING! I'm a huge Ray Park fan myself and so I loved every minute of your song, espeically the bit about how he stood at nine feet tall...but not really...:)

I hope he sees this one day and sends you a free autograph.

[dandixon7]

This is the first song that I've ever heard that made me say "This is clearly influenced by Tenacious D". Good work!

[JabbatheCunt241]

this is retard

[Lucharilla]

Best song ever written by a mortal man!

[misswittykitty]

wow that was kind of creepy....BUT TOTALLY AMAZING.

[darkpreacher71]

lol that was f'n great man.

[TheEverydayGeek]

Not GI Joe

[Mpoufh]

Ahahahhaha nice one!

[Oxxna]

Sorry for my english! I agree with every word

in this song, Ray Park is my hero too. But you

forget, he is a chin woo master! It is not fair, he

dies in every movie