Mental Help Hotline

What you don't want to hear when you call the Mental Help Hotline...

Hello, and Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline: If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no one will answer you. If you are dyslexic, press 69696969. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until the beep after the beep please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, please try your call again later. If you have low self esteem, hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

Disclaimer: I do no own this audio, I simply got it in an email and thought it would be almost funny if I posted it. Enjoy!

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• Mental
• Help
• Hotline
• obsessive-compulsive
• co-dependent
• multiple
• personalities
• paranoid
• delusional
• schizophrenic
• depressive
• dyslexic
• nervous
• disorder
• short-term
• memory
• loss
• low
• self
• esteem

[EthalaRide]

696996969 wait... CRAP!

[ClassicTranceFTW]

John Askew - Bastard used this sample :)

[TheHUsoldier6]

i have no numbers to press T_T

[77appyi]

6969696969696969 i dont understand and i am the d word i cannot spell (no joke)

[iramsier1997]

In your closet

0_o

[zombie1513]

TROLL!!!!!!

[MrBigInfidel]

Where is the mother ship?

[TribusCaputCanis]

@kingu9 Then press 1 repeatedly.

[TribusCaputCanis]

@bmxboi303 They're busy too. Try 6969696969696969... heh heh heh

[TribusCaputCanis]

@crid37 Good call. ^_^ If I didn't have to use my voicemail for work and stuff, this sure would be on mine too!

[TribusCaputCanis]

@darkprincessdragon Because the only link to the live operator is the 7 button and she lives on the mothership. = : P)

[TribusCaputCanis]

If the 'mothership' will answer my question and get me away from the automated message, I just might go on ahead and press the "I'm delusional" 7 button and see where it goes from there.